For Those Who Keep Me Going

Thank you to Wattpad.

Im going to try and keep this as heartfelt as possible, which will NOT be hard I tell you because my heart has been making a bee-line towards my fingers and all the way to my keyboard from the start. Since this is quite a peculiar book to write, (if you can even call it that) I'll start with something that's more related to this site. And those are the writers whose stories make my heart flutter.  I remember stumbling upon fanfictions in a time where I felt a dangerous amount of existential crises. 

At first, I felt a bit ashamed of reading about love, and other people's problems. Something about it made me feel weak, different, someone who I didn't want to be. But there really was something different about the way fanfic authors wrote. It was full of hope, fluff, detail, and after I was mature enough to accept that I loved what I read, I delved deeper into the world that is fanfiction.

Surfing through the web for fanfiction was unbelievably easy, it was something that you had easy access to, as well as a crap ton of genres and variety. Every fandom I fell face first into had its bunch of great authors and stories. Perhaps it was because I was too busy curled up in a ball of insecurity and excitement, to realize that these stories weren't coming out of thin air, they were coming from amazing people with real lives and were generous enough to dedicate a good portion of it to other people like me who loved to read something other than a New York Times Best Seller.

It wasn't until recently that I was able to talk to one of these amazing writers. I instantly fell in love with her personality as quickly as I fell in love with her work. I wasn't good at making friends, hell, I'm still not good at making friends, but the way that this certain writer was able to open up to me through a site where you were confined to the boundary of only READING about blooming friendships and love, amazed me.

It was... just AMAZING.

I saw other writers interact with other writers after this experience, see them make friends, call each other cute, fall in love with each other's work, and although I'm not a part of it, the way Wattpad let me watch from the sidelines is truly a blessing. Seeing their names pop up in my notifications sent a spark through my soul, like being in a front seat of your favorite band's concert. I really feel a connection with all these great, talented, and gifted people, and even though they don't feel the same way, I'm content with seeing their unique personalities blossom into new friendships from afar.

Kylie (bxngtae) is that author who you frequently see adored by all, me included. In the span of 10 hours she has become someone so important to me, because she showed me how quick a friendship could start without any awkward moments, judgements, or forced laughs. She helped me flow, and showed me that I actually was capable of making friends. Although she has called so many people cute like she has with me, I still take those compliments to heart, because I am happy that my existence was noticed by her when she could have been replying to someone else's comments. One of her replies to me was that she couldn't believe she had such an impact on an individual, and I hope that this little rant makes her believe just that.

So THANK YOU Wattpad, for letting me meet so many perfect individuals who make my dreams a reality on a computer screen. And thank you authors, I guess for mainly just existing, and working so hard to make other fangirls like me squeal so loudly everyday. You all truly keep me going.

                                                                                                                             -Justine G.