If Only...

Chapter 11: Wrong

Her short legs bucked at both sides of me as her angry brows knitted together and her hands grabbed my phone and hung up on nana.

I felt claustrophobic. I began breathing heavily and could feel myself already crying, "Why in Sam heck are you on me!?"

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Lennox's P.O.V

I stood and as soon as she followed me up, I shoved her back down again completely enraged and confused.

I could hear her dramatically panting and clutching her chest as if I was holding a bag over her head.

I pushed her again and again.

"Why did you lie?"

She didn't respond.

"Why did you tell him that? How could you be so selfish? You Southern Ditz!"

She flushed with hurt.

"Lennox why are you saying this to me!" she squealed again.

I stopped pushing her and slouched on my bed with my head down low, "You lied to Louis. You know I would never do that to him. How could you say that?"

I felt so betrayed and hurt, I never let anybody see me defeated but I couldn't help but feel so broken.

She was paralyzed, she wouldn't budge even a bit and wouldn't answer my question to any extent.

I was so frustrated and I couldn't bear the thought that it might satisfy her to see me crack.

"Fuck you, Drew," I spat and walked out the door with my head high and a slam of the door.

I searched my pockets as soon as I was off campus but I was pack-less and I didn't have any pounds on me.

Ah, hell.

The one thing I needed most was a cigarette and the only way to get them was to face that country girl traitor again and I didn't even want to think of that right now.

It was almost evening and I was getting anxious.

I recognized a familiar face. I think he was in my sociology course.

"Mate, have you got a fag?" I pleaded.

It took him a few minutes to register who I was and after a hesitant reach, he pulled out a pack and handed me one. Never have I loved a stranger so much in my life.

He pulled out a lighter and lit it for me and smiled before he kept walking as I exaggerated my thanks.

The best thing about London is nearly all of us are smokers.

I watched as the sun set and leaned back against a souvenir shop noticing that through the glow in the dark of my bud, I am not alone any more. In one sense, a cigarette seems to be something alive. When it is lighted it appears to be awakened, brought to life as a companion just for me.

I soaked in every second and watched as the smoke leaked from my lips and trickle all around me. The smoke, much like a cloud, takes on many shapes when I manifest it into the air and travels to the unknown. Watching it relaxed me and wiped out the bad thoughts that haunted me.

I remember how much Dad hated when Dad #2 would smoke, sometimes even in the house. He hated it even more when I caught onto the habit. But I didn't care. At least one of them understood why I did it.

It was getting dark and I knew I had to go. Return to the bad and who knows what else.

I smoked as I walked, taking in each drag before digging it into the ash tray sealed on top a rubbish bin.

I prepared myself to continue the battle against the green eyed monster but I opened the door to an empty dorm, her bed cleanly made, but there was no sign of her.

I checked my phone and not even Marcus had rang.

Was she out to take him from me too?

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Marcus's P.O.V

I waited two hours and still no sign of Lennox. But right before the clock hit 20:00 in came a panting Drew.

"She's not here!" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"She knows!" she hysterically cried, "Why is she denying it?"

It took a good while for me to register what in the hell she was talking about because Drew was never one to understand the meaning of a topic sentence or conversational transitions for that matter.

But in that moment, I knew.

And panic was boiling inside me.

"What did you tell her?" I asked in my most collected voice, I was almost coming off as too relaxed.

"She nearly bit my ear off asking why I told Lou she's a cheater! You said you and Lennox were a thing since July! Why didn't she look at all guilty?" Her hand was perched on her hip and the other was brushing back her hair frantically.

"Y'know Lennox doesn't have a remorseful bone in her body!" I countered and smiled pleasingly as Drew began to ponder and agree with me.

"How are we sposed to be roommates when Lennox is plotting up my death trap as we speak, Marcus?!" Her anxiety was flicked back on over drive.

I never liked Drew and never quite understood how she and Lennox even became so acquainted with them being so far off from similar.

I couldn't take more of her whining accent exaggerated worries so I grabbed her by her shoulder and gave her a firm but gentle shake.

"Lennox doesn't love Louis, she's always wanted me, Drew. I can't explain her actions or why she suddenly wants to clean up her act, but nothing can change the fact that she lost her bridge of trust and she shouldn't be taking that out on you," I smiled reassuringly at her.

Drew's gullibility was the only thing I particularly enjoyed about her.

She nodded and sighed, "I just wish she would have told me. I didn't want Louis to find out the way he did but I just felt so rejected and bad for the guy, I had to."

"You're not the enemy here Drew, and I guarantee that Lennox will come around, love," I winked and grinned for good measure.

"What room is that Louis lad anyway?"

Without hesitation she chirped, "291."