////Crazy tour

Success?

Hi my name is Rolf Sartorius. Everybody calls me Jacob ever since I was born. I am 13, turning 14 in October. And everybody wants to touch my poofy hair1!1!1

BEGINNING ASFFF
OKAY FINALLY, out of that little elementary.. I'm finally with the "big dogs" and with max in school again. Last time Max and I were at school together was for my elf play and preschool. The elf thing was SO EMBARRASSING LIKE UM I KNOW I LOOK LIKE AN ELF CALLM YO TITTAYS PLEASE. But anyways I finally get to be with him!! Except, I have bullies, I hope they give themselves wedgies once in a while, lord please.

TIME TRAVEL TO SCHOOL LIKE 30 MINUTES

Mom takes me to school because she thinks it's "unsafe" and it has tons of "STD's". One, how would she know...two I'm not about that STD life man. Mom played in the car the "I love you" song by Barney. AREN'T I JUST A LITTLE OLD FOR BARNEY?¿1!2!

Anyways, I walk up to school and a random girl get onto my back. Oh no. Here it comes.
"OH MY GAWD YOURE JACOB SA-RAT-TRIUS CAN YOU KISS MY CHEEK DADDY?!1!2!" Says the crazed fan.
I cannot stand that word, "daddy". I don't have daddy issues, it's just ugh it makes me think of sex. And I'm not ready for that....yet. Teehee. I do whatever she says and all, I start to get a deep feeling in my stomach. It's really guy-wrenching. I go into the grand, white and EXTREMELY LARGE cafeteria. I saw tables lined up for the kids to sign in, get their id's, schedules and all that "fun stuff" I decided to go where the table has less people so people wouldn't recognize Me.
"Have I seen you before young man?" She asks calmly.
Really...even old people know about me..k then. I shake my head no. And she decides to go on with her day, thankfully. I go ahead and try to find Max. Yet I have no idea where I'm exactly going. I'll find him somehow...
I now see the same girl come up to me again.. I decided to ask her since I don't know anybody else here really. I think her name is Emily lol. She approaches me and I kid you not. But she grabs onto my shoulders and puts me on her back. Wtf?¿
"Anyways can you take me to room 49?" I try to act polite. She starts galloping like a horse on my little pony and takes me to the room. She follows me in there and she won't stop. I turn around.
"Do you mind? I'm a human too..." I tell her firmly
She then turns around and pretends nothing ever happened, back into her fantasy world.

"AYEEEEE HOMEBOIII" Max being hismself.
Max and I do our handshake that we made up I probably the 3rd grade when we went swimming. I remember this girl there, she had a pink swimsuit and was biting her nails. That's one of my pet peeves, but she probably doesn't know who I am lol. She pops up in my dreams it's starting to get creepy lol. One of my bullies walk in. Well, crapola.

"YO SAGGYTITTIES" yells Alfred