Not enough.

Him.

I admit I was jealous. He had everything. Parents, a house, a job. Everything. Yes he was mine, but I didn't understand it. He was everything that I wasn't even though I had been trying so hard every day since we met.
That is until one night he told me I wasn't enough anymore. Our entire relationship I had wanted to be the best for him and I kicked myself over and over knowing that I wasn't enough. I spent so much time hoping, praying, that maybe I was wrong and I was enough for Keith.

It was a beautiful day and I had gotten dressed up in a beautiful dark red sundress to go meet him for a date. We had been planning this for so long and I was so excited to see him. He had been gone on a business trip to England for almost a month and I was dying to see him and get caught up with him. I had everything planned and I was so ready to meet him. 4 o'clock. That was the time he was set to come and pick me up and I was content to have just enough time to get ready as I had been out shopping with my friends Luce and Kiana.
As 4 started to come around I started to get really excited. I had showered, put on make up and perfume, and curled my hair perfectly. I grabbed my purse, keys, and phone as it chimed, telling me that he was outside waiting for me. I hurried out and collided with him, hugging him to me tightly.
"I missed you so so much!" I spoke with a smile, burying my face in his chest.
He chuckled, hugging me back. "I missed you too Christie."
I gave him a peck on the lips as I walked around and got into his car. We held hands as he drove to the restaurant though I noticed immediately that he seemed different in some way, less receptive or off in some way. I dismissed it though, thinking he was tired from his trip. He probably has jet lag... I thought to myself.
We went into the restaurant and a waiter ushered us to our seats. Keith, being the gentleman that he was, pulled my chair out for me. I couldn't help but excitedly start chatting with him, wanting to know about his trip was. A month was a lot to get caught up on but I was flustered when he shut me down and didn't let me ask him anything.
I was confused and scared when he took my hand and said, "We needed to talk."
A lump immediately formed in my throat as I nodded. "What about?" I tried to keep a smile on my face as he sighed.
"Look Christie I really like you and these past three years have been amazing but...I think we should break up. It's not you, it's me really. I just don't think we're right for each other. I don't think I love you anymore."
I couldn't keep my smile as my heart broke. Unconscious tears started streaming down my cheeks as my heart crying out in pain and sorrow. I had been trying to hold my tears in as he was speaking, but when he said that he didn't love me anymore I just couldn't hold it in anymore.
"I'm so sorry." He spoke quickly and his hand tightened around mine as he tried to keep me from leaving. He couldn't keep me sitting with him though; I didn't want to look at him anymore. So I stood, ripping my hand from his.
I covered my face in humiliation as I ran out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. I called a cab as quickly as I could and left, going back to my apartment. I had known it for so long, but hearing him say it killed me. I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough  and he had finally figured it out.