Private Universe

A Date

Bridie snorted. ‘Precious few and that’s God’s own truth. So he hasn’t tried to…’

‘Nah. Not scared of it. Just not desperate for it like most of ‘em. Tell you the truth, I don’t think ee ‘as to try too ‘ard.’

***

‘Now, I’ve shown you hitting him once, but if he doesn’t guard against it, hit him again. There’s no need to change what you’re doing until it stops working. Once he does get a hand in the way, pull his head down like this, yes, that’s it, grab the ear, and either hit him at the back of his neck or put your arm under his and …’

***

‘An’ anytime he’s not asleep or busy with one o’ them, then it still don’t matter, ‘cos I’m run off me feet with all the work here.’

‘Aye, well there is truth in that. And, to be honest wit yer, Gina and meself have been loading the jobs on you for just that. Damned if I know why, now I come to think of it. You deserve as much of a chance with him as either of those two.’

***

‘So, if it’s starting to come apart, the odds are that he’ll reach for you with his free hand, so slap it down with your left. If he doesn’t, make the move anyway, ‘cos it doesn’t hurt. Then hit up under his chin with the heel of your right hand. If you’re very lucky, he’ll bite his tongue off.’

***

 

‘In the meantime, darling, I really do need a hand in the kitchen, but if we can finish off there, there’s truly little more that needs doing for today.’

***

It was an hour later that the self-defence class finished, with everyone pleasantly tired. It had been strange for Jack to have Fanny there and neither able to speak. He had a sense of both of them being careful around each other and, while he could think of a dozen reasons why that might be on her side; it bothered him more than he could explain. He went to his room expecting a nap after the exertions, but wondered if he’d be able to get any time to talk to her privately.

Just as he sat on his bed, however, she slipped through the door. He opened his mouth to speak, but she held her finger to her lips, dashed forward, kissed him quickly on the lips and sat down beside him.

‘I’ve only got a few minutes, but I did so want to talk with you. It seems like ages since we last did and, anyway, Lena told me about last night. No, no,’ she reassured, seeing the look on his face, ‘I don’t mind, really. She is my best friend, my only friend here, and she’s so unhappy in her marriage. She should have someone like you. And I understand why if you want to be with her. She’s so beautiful. You should marry someone like Lena, Jack.’ She laughed. ‘It would be the only way the bride could be as lovely as the groom.’

Jack felt like dropping his head into his hands. ‘This is such a strange situation, isn’t it? This isn’t like anything else in my life and I don’t know what to do.’ He looked her straight in the eyes. ‘I don’t want to lose you, Fanny. It’s not that I want her instead of you. It just happened with her. I won’t say I didn’t want it, but I didn’t plan it.’

She touched his face and put her hands on his shoulders. ‘I know, honestly darling, I do. It just happened with us too. It is all so insane, though. One day, I suppose, Peter will come back from the war and then I might just become Mrs Davy. And I suppose I still want that, though I’m not the same woman I was, so why should I think he’ll be the same man?’ She shook her head. ‘Honestly, I don’t know. Before the war, everything seemed to be going like a train on the tracks. We were just riding it and going where it took us. Now, all of that seems broken. It seems so silly that, what, fifty miles away from us, across the Channel, half the men of Europe are trying to kill the other half. Meanwhile we sit here, worried that we might be doing something naughty and perhaps we should stop. But who’s hurt by what we do? I think about it and think about it and never get to any answer in my head. So I know I can’t have you, but I still want to. What do you want, Jack?’