BROKEN TO FIXEN

Part 1

Ladii !!! Get Yo Ass Down These Stairs Right Fuckin Now ! (Yawnnnn) 10am Im Being Woke By My Hell Step Father As I Get Downstairs Nd Feel A Rough Hand Across My Face And Fall To The Floor I Hear My Step Father Voice I Called Yo Ass One To Many Times Maybe Next Time You Will Come Fast Enough Then He Walks Off I Lay There Balled Up Crying Wondering Why I Have To Live The Lifestyle Im Living I Finally Got Myself Together And Got Up And Went To My Room And Lock The Door And Ran My Shower Once I Step In I Felt Relived Once I Took My Hour Shower I Got Out Dried Off And Placed Clothes On I Looked At The Time And It Read 12:30 I Had To Meet My Bestfriend Josh At 1. Josh Is This Boy I Meet Awhile Back And We Became Bestfriends He Once Wanted More But I Told Him We Better Off Friends Im Not Ready For All That Yet He Said He Understand And We Been Bestfriends Every Since I Look Over At My Clock Once More And Seen It Getting A Little Late So I Grab My Purse And Speed Walked Down The Stairs And Out The Door Before My Step Dad Grabbed Me Nd Did God Knows What As Im Walking Down The Street To Catch The Bus I Would Think About Everything And Every Time I Think About My Life I Would Shed A Few Tears Once I Look Up I See My Bus Pulling Up I Wipe Them Away And Stood Up Ready To Get On Once I Got On I Found My Seat Nd Looked Out The Window Into The Bus Finally Stop I See My Bestfriend Standing There Smiling Waiting On Me I Always Felt Like Something Was Off With Josh But Never Touched What It Was Or Maybe It's Just Me Idk But My Bus Stopped I Got Off And Gave Him A Hug Josh Say Dang Girl You Looking Good I Tell Him Thanks We Walk Off Down The Street Off To The Ice Cream Parlor Once We Get There It Wasn't A Line So We Ordered Once We Got Our Ice Cream We Left Out Walking And Just Talking Feel Like When Im Around Josh I Can Talk To Him About Everything Nd Let Ago Everything Tears And All Cause I Feel Like He The Only Guy That Hear Me Out Josh Finally Look MebL Face To Face And Took A Close Glance And Touch My Face And Say Ladii What Happen To Your Face I Put My Head Down Instantly And Said Nothing His Face Turn Red Nd Jaw Clench What You Mean Nothing It's Clear As Day It's A Fuckin Bruise He Bangs The Table I Jump In Fear He Blew A Breath Nd Pulled Me In A Hug And Said I Won't Hurt You Im Sorry It's Just Makes Me Mad That He Does This To You Ladii I Told You That You Can Come Stay With Me And My Dad You Don't Have To Keep Taking That You To Beautiful Yo Have A Beat Up Face I Swear I Want To Kill Him You Don't Deserve This I Grip Josh In A Tight Hug Nd Let Some Tears Out Because He Right I Don't All My Life I Been Going Through Hell From Foster Homes To Foster Home Being Beatin Raped Starved Out And All And I Go Back With My Mom To Still Be Treated Wrong Wish I Could Call On My Dad But He's Doesn't Care About Me At All Just Like My Mother Doesn't When I Really Think About It I Have Nobody But Myself In This Cold World I Look At The Time And Notice It Was 11:30 I Push Josh Back And Said I Should Go It's Getting Late And My Step Will Flip I Come In Late Josh Says I Can Drive You Home Ladii You Don't Always Have To Take The Bus I Told Him No Its Fine I Walk For Towards The Night Bus And Got There Just In Time It Pulled Up I Got On Nd Thought Bout Things If I Would've Let Josh Take Me Home My Step Dad Would Beat The Living Off Me I Felt The Bus Stop Moving And Snap Out Of Thought An Notice We Approached My Stop I Got Off And Let Out A Deep Sigh And Looked At The Sky And Said To Myself Jesus Be With Me I Hated That I Had To Go To This House I Reached The Porch And Let Out A Deep Breath And Open The Door It Was Dark And I Heard No One So I Took It As Everyone Gone I Shut The Door An Turn Around To See My Drunk Step Dad Stumble Towards Me Using Slur Words Where The Hell You Been Coming In My House All Late In Shit I Been Missing You Baby Tears Instantly Steam Down My Face I Backed up Nd Came To A End And Hit The Wall He Breathe Up And Down My Neck With A Liqour Breathe Nd Grabbed My Belt Buckle Nd Says I Been Missing This I Tried To Run Pass Him But He Grabbed Me By My Hair Take Me Upstairs To My Room Shut The Door Throw Me On The Bed I Let In A Silent Prayer I Felt My Clothes Being Ripped Off Me He Unbuckled His Clothes And I Felt Him Shove Himself Into Me So Many Tears Rushed Down My Face I Laid There Why He Have His Way With Me He Finally Finish I Laid There In Sobs Felt Like I Crawled In A Whole And Died Twice My Grandma Always Told Me To Never Question God But All I Wanted To Know Is Why, Why Me Why He Choose Me To Go Through This But A Saying I Was Told He Puts The Strongest Through The Toughest But I Felt Like This Battle Was To Tough For Me I Finally Got Out My Thoughts And Ran My Shower I Kneed Down Im The Showerd And Just Cried Once I Finished I Got Out Put My Clothes On Nd Decided To Pack My Clothes To Leave To My Grandma House For Few Days I Packed My Clothes And Use The Window Cause I Didn't Want My Step Dad To See Me Leaving Once I Reached Outside I Placed My Jacket On A Took Off Down The Street I Finally Reached My Grandparents House Nd Knocked A Few Times My Grandma Open The Door And Looked At Me With An Twist Look She Said Girl What You Doing Here This Late I Put My Head Down She Picked My Head Up Looked At My Face And In My Eyes Nd Pulled Me In A Hug And Said We Going To Put A End To This Tomorrow I Hug My Grandmother A Lil Tighter I Felt Like I Was Untouched Being With Her Once Me And My Grandmother Finish Talking I Went Up To The Room I Always Stayed In At Her House And Just Went To Sleep Ready For The Next Day Cause Today Felt Like Hell For Me.

Josh (Prov) 

Dad Im Home Wassup Son I Walk Into The Living Room And See My Dad Sitting There Watching The Game An Drinking A Beer So I Go And Join Silence Filled The Room Then I Let A Sigh Out And Say Dad Memeber My Bestfriend Ladii ? Yea That One LightSkin Girl What About Her? Yea I Been Thinking She Should Come Stay With Us My Dad Looked At Me With A Smirk Why Is That Josh I Looked At Him Nd Shook My HeadbL Nothing Like That Dad We Bestfriends She Made It Clear When I Told Her How I Felt That She Only Wanted To Be Friends My Dad Shook His Head And Said You My Son Right? I Said Yea So He Look Looked Over Took A Swoll Of His Cold Beer And Said An We And Get What We Want You Want Them Draws She Not Willing To Give Them Up You Better Take Them Then I Looked At Him With A Confused Look Then Said Nawl That Aint Me I Could Never Fuck A Female Life Up Like That My Dad Did A Laugh And Said You Weak Nd With That Being Said He Got Up And Walked Off I Sat There Dazed Thinking Should I Really Take What I Want Am I Weak For Letting Her Decide What We Are And What I Cant Have 

Ladii (Prov) 

Ring Ring Ring Ring  ... I Wake To A Ringing Alarm Clock I Open My Eyes To A Shinning Light From Outside I Finally Pull Myself Up To Get My Hygiene Together Once I Finish I Place My Clothes On And Call My Bestfriend Once I Got Off The Phone With Him I Got My Things Together To Leave And Meet Him He Sounded A Lil Weird But Idk Maybe It Was Just Me Now That Im Finish Getting Dress I Finally Get Down Stairs And It Smell Really Good A Great Smell I Haven't Smelled In A Long Time My Grandma Pancakes I Finally Enter The Kitchen There My Grandmother Stood With A Big Smile On Her Face She Smile At Me And Said Morning Sunshine Your Finally Woke Hungry I Smile And Said Yes I Took A Seat And Watched Her Place The Breakfast Foods On My Plate Once She Finish She Sat It Down We Said Prayers And Ate As We At I Put My Head Down Nd Let A Tear Down It Brought Back So Many Memories Of How We Use To Be Nd How My Actual Family Was I Miss It I Really Do My Grandmother Look Over At Me Nd Brought My Head Up And Said It's Okay Baby It Okay And Brought Me Into A Hug I Hugged Her Tight And We Rocked I Finally Let Words Out It's Not Okay Grandma It's Not Nothing Will Never Be The Same Why Me Why My Life I Let Out Sob After Sob She Rub My Back And Say Baby Everything Happen For A Reason He Put The Strongest Through The Tuffest Battles I Say Grandma Im Just Not Ready For This Battle He Tell Me Hush Baby Your Are He Would Never Picked You Nd Trust Me You Are Going To Fight Nd Win It Do You Understand I Look At Her Nd Nod My Head In Yes Movement We Get Up Nd Give In One Last Hug I Wipe My Tears And Remember I Had To Meet My Bestfriend So I Say Thanks For Breakfast Grandma Nd The Talk She Said No Problem Baby Anytime And I Left Out Walking Down The Street I Felt Like A Little Weight Lifted Off My Shoulders But Not Fully I Finally Get To The Last Block Nd I Walk Past A Building Nd I See A Guy Groping A Girl He Tell Her Bitch I Said What Was Gone Happen To You If You Didnt Have My Money She Had Tears Stream Down Her Face It Took Me Back Of My Memories And The Pain Im Going Through I Wanted To Help Her So Bad But I Was Stuck There In Shock I Snap Back When I Finally Realized The Guy Was Walking Towards My Way He Yelled Out The Fuck You Doing Standing There My Heart Instantly Drop The Girl Behind Him Took Off And So Did I The Guy Chase After Me I Ran Faster And Faster Into I Reached My Bus I Finally Get To My Bus Before The Doors Closed Nd Once I Reached Inside The Doors Instantly Close And The Driver Took Off I Watched The Guy Out The Window He Looked At Me And Pointed I Laid Back Im My Seat And Let Out A Deep Sigh