Send My Love (to your new lover)

Tabloids and Frozen Hell

"This is your fault, you know."

"My fault?" he repeated, feigning shock.

"Yes, Robert. If you hadn't introduced us at that film premiere, I wouldn't have gotten involved and in turn, wouldn't have just had a rageful, ex-girlfriend moment with the trash can just now," I leered at him as I leaned against the front of my desk.

Just then, cutting the silence, my phone starting ringing. I scuttled around to my chair, sat down and answered.

"Robert Downey Junior's office, this is Miss Parker speaking," I glanced up at him. "He's in meetings at the moment, can I take a message?" I jotted down the details of the man's call as he requested a meeting with Robert. "Thank you Steven, I'll get the message to him and will get back to you...thank you. Have a good day."

"You sound so much more chipper when you answer the phone," he said as he sat down in one of the leather armchairs on the opposite side of my desk.

"That's what you pay me for isn't it?" I asked as I dropped a manila envelope on the desk in front of him.

"What's this?" he asked as he picked it up, the envelope fat with papers.

"Finalized divorce decree, allocated assets information, property tax documents and custody documents. All finalized. Seems to me it's a day for closure," I smirked.

"Yeah...sorry about Tom--"

"Don't. I do not want to talk about him," I said firmly.

"Fine. Do you want to talk about a business trip?"

"You don't have anything on for the next two months. Not a business trip, meeting, nothing...and neither do I." I glared at him, "I'd like to keep it that way."

"Okay fine, it's not a business trip then. I'm leaving tomorrow morning though and you have to come."

"Can't. I have plans."

"You can wear sweatpants and tshirts, eat ice cream and watch Netflix when we get to where we are going. Trust me, it will be a nice break."

"Where is this 'not a business trip' taking us then?"

"Park City."

"Utah?"

"Yes. I need to be there for a meeting and I can't go without you."

"Robert, it's January."

"And?"

"It's going to be fucking freezing! Wait--" I pulled up Robert's calendar to see that he had put a certain film festival on there, but removed it because he decided not to go. "You're going to drag me to Sundance? You never go to Sundance!"

"Oh, buck up LA girl. Take a break from California living for a minute. It'll be fun."

I sank back in my chair, giving him the most petulant look that I could muster. He returned it with a cheerful and mischievous look of his own, telling me he wasn't going to let me off the hook.

"Robert, I don't have any cold weather clothes. I also have a hair appointment tomorrow."

"Cancel it. I'll send for Davy. He can do your hair in Park City."

"Where do you suppose we'll be staying? You can't just spring this on me! I haven't contacted any hotels, your pilot, a car service, nothing."

"Would you settle down? I called my pilot and he will be ready at seven tomorrow morning."

"And we are staying where?"

"The Saint Regis. I pulled some strings."

Why he has to be so damned spontaneous, I'll never know. You'd think that after the years and years of being his personal assistant I'd have acclimated to his flights of fancy. Unfortunately for me, he's a chameleon, a bird of a different color, flying by the seat of his pants. Naturally, as soon as I think have my footing, he yanks the rug out from under me.

One minute I thought I'd be spending some quiet time alone with some wine and my sweatpants, inside and in the dark; the next, I'm thinking about appropriate winter apparel and preparing for a trip to a ski town a couple states over. Let's not forget that that particular town will be crawling with celebrities.

Who I am is not mystery to anyone, I'm the personal assistant to one of the most famous Hollywood faces. I'm the ruthless machine(or so I've been called) that keeps Robert on the up and up in the business. He and I met when I was in med school and working part time at a Starbucks in a hotel in Seattle. Much to my Tiger Mother's chagrin, I dropped out of school and moved to LA to be his assistant and I've never regretted it.

"Besides," he started as he stood up, "getting away will keep your mind off of--"

"Shut up," I halted him with a raised, open palm. "I don't want to talk about......that. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to order a parka for myself," I added, shooing him out of my office. He simply grinned; that same grin had won me over countless times. He's a pain in the ass but he and I both know he'd be lost without me, and that I would never abandon him. What I am to Robert, Pepper Potts is to Tony Stark, an extension of the man himself.

He closed my office door and I wilted onto the top of my desk, pressing my forehead into the blotter and the scattered papers on the top of it. My phone pinged with yet another announcement of my ex's new love story, rubbing the salt deeper into the wound. Suddenly, escaping the scrutiny of the city of Los Angeles didn't seem like such a bad idea, even if we were going to the frozen tundra.

I packed up my briefcase with anything I could possibly need, which was pretty much just my laptop and a few file folders, my cell and Robert's and various charging cords. I powered everything off and left the office, telling the desk staff I'd be out of office for an unspecified amount of time.

"Finally taking a vacation, Jen?"

"No. The boss is dragging me with him to Park City."

Both of the ladies behind the desk cringed in unison at the thought of all the snow and cold; only cementing the fact that Robert was, in fact taking me to hell. A frozen, snow covered hell.