I wish I had someone to talk to but right now the only person who meant anything in my fucking life is being an arsehole. I feel alone and dead, as though there’s just nothing left that’s worth living for, like the life is gone. I just want to go. Leave this motherfucker. I did get better, hardly but it was slight enough to help me and now I’m worse than I’ve ever been. And one of the biggest problems is that I have no one. Everyone around me seems so self absorbed, so obsessed with themselves and what they want to bother with me, to even notice the fact that slowly, day by day I continue to disintegrate into nothingness. I feel so empty and incomplete and…invisible, like the silent screams of agony are just in my head. Like the tears don’t fall. I just want to feel alive, fuck being happy, I never will be, but I hate feeling as if there’s nothing and no one, as if it all completely and utterly fucking meaningless. I want something to cling onto, something that can help me stay alive.
