A little thing called...

Fear

Where do I begin with this one!

I think I have an idea,

Okay so if you know me in any way, you'll automatically see I'm terrified of so many things

People, my list of things ....*small sigh*

Lets see theres:

The dark(childish but yeah) Being Alone in big crowds, saying something I dont mean, heights, death, my parents ( I mean everyone is afraid of them at one point in their lives ) Church and horror movies while alone.

These are just some I can think about right now--

The most odd to people I meet would be church,death, and the dark.

I have my reasons people, I'm weird.

Nah I kid I kid reasons would be because

1. I feel like I'm being brainwashed at church. as if they are forcing knowledge that I dont want into my head. I'm all for believing in god,

 but jessuusss (no pun Intended c:)

Going to church for me is like walking into a room of witches chanting some sort of spell to make everyone in the room go brain dead to a n y t h i n g that challenges their beliefs. It's like its all fake..ughhh

ANYTHING can literally make them think you are "impure" and "are going to hell" if it doesn't go with their commandments. 

'cmon. I'm pretty sure God is supposed to accept us for who we are unless we are like pure evil and stuff.

LET ME BREATHE AND NOT GO TO HELL CAUSE OF IT. PLEASE. I ain't picture perfect.

But what do I know, right?

*Note the church I go to is a Mormon Church.

(I feel like if anyone reads this they'll scream "SATANIST" but chill, don't like church, but I'm good with god and whatnot.)

2. I love my life, no way in hell do I want to let go of it. When I think of dying I don't think of how my spirit will leave my body, or how I will go to heaven or somewhere else. I think of how it'll make my body shut down, my mind go blank, my body go limp and slowly stiff. I think of how everyone I know will react and how everyone will be when I'm not there anymore. Or how I will look like in a casket, my skin color looking far from the original skin I grew up with. I hate that I wont be able to speak, think or breathe anymore.

In my mind I imagine death as a huge wall the color of the darkest black there is out there. And when I think of it hard enough, 

I usually start to see black spots or a gray color cover my vision for a second because of how hard I try to get a vision of it. 

Theres even a period of time in the year where I turn completely paranoid of death, I usually stay terrified and unable to sleep for the next week. This happens three or four times a year at most.

Sad how we are all born to die ._.

3. WE ARE ALL TERRIFIED OF THE DARK AT A POINT GOT IT

Just that for me that fear stuck , eheh.

The dark doesn't bring back good memories, lets just say. I legit gotta hang on to someone so I dont lose my mind, I look pathetic really.

 And accompany it with loud sudden sounds? 

You got your cliche girl squealing and clutching on to the person nearest to them. I hate how I am when in the dark,

Its just..

Ew.

*mega cringe*

(But I am okay with the dark when I'm in bed surprisingly, Im so screwed up with my fears I swear)

Im not explaining the rest.

Maybe one day, but I'm too lazy.

*boop*