The Option

Chapter 1

The pain of losing the person you loved the most is unbearable. When Connor told me he had never loved me our entire relationship, I was devastated. We were together for over two years. He wasted not only his time, but mine as well.

I have spent the last two weeks sobbing in my bed. I haven't moved much, other than to go to the bathroom. I haven't eaten a single thing, even though my mother has tried to get me to eat several times. She tells me that I have to eat and that not eating is unhealthy, but I'm just not hungry. I'm too hurt to even consider eating.

The first four days, all I did was cry. I just couldn't stop. After that, I couldn't physically cry anymore. I've tried to, but no tears would come out. Dry and choked up sobs were all that would come out so now I just lay on my back, staring at the ceiling.

All I can do is think of what could have possibly happened. Did he do this just to hurt me? Was this relationship a bet? Or did it actually take him this long to realize he didn't love me? I'm pretty sure it was one of the first two.

It can't take two years for someone to realize that they didn't love someone at all. Even in divorces, they loved their partner at one point of the relationship. Connor said he had no feelings for me whatsoever our entire relationship.

My thoughts were interrupted when my mom knocked on my door. I sighed, knowing she was going to try to get me to eat again. I really had no appetite and I wish she would stop trying.

"Yeah?" I ask quietly, my voice hoarse from trying to cry.

"Can I come in?" she questions softly.

"Sure," I answer before hearing the door open quietly and her making her way to my bed.

She looked at me, silently asking me if she could sit on my bed. I nodded and she smiled before sitting down at the end of my bed.

"Do you want to talk about it at all?" she asks. I hesitate before nodding a little.

"It just hurts, you know? Like, I really loved him, mom. We were together for two years. And it took him this long to tell me he didn't love me the whole time. It kinda feels like he was up to something. Like, he was bet to date me and break my heart. I know I am only just going into eleventh grade, but I thought we had a future together. I know, it's stupid and shit, but I really thought we were going to get married one day and have kids."

"Honey, it's not stupid. It's expected. Most people do that. It's not just you that thought that way about their boyfriend," she says, taking my hand in hers as I sit up on my bed to actually look at her.

I push back a few pieces of strands of blonde hair that were on my forehead. I scratch the back of my neck before biting my lip; which happened to be a nervous habit of mine.

I looked up at my mom, who just smiled at me with her thin lips. I had always been glad I didn't end up with her lips and got my dads plump ones. Her bright blue eyes searched mine, and I just realized how lucky I got to get her eye color. They're so beautiful.

"It hurts," I admit to her.

"I know, honey. But listen, you will find that one person that you just can't live without. You'll wonder how you got so far in life without them. You'll just have that connection that you won't have with anyone else. So, just be patient."

"How does that feel? The connection?" I ask, getting curious.

"It's like, as soon as your eyes meet, you feel as though time stops. You're just like, wow, I can't believe that I'm actually talking to you," she explains.

"Is it always the first time your eyes meet?"

"Well, no. It could be after you've been talking for a while. After you've learned so much about them and revel in what you know and how they treat you. They don't have to be perfect, but as long as they treat you with respect and love, that's all you really ever need. And, if they constantly remind you how much you mean to them and how much they love you," she says, as though she's looking back on the past.

"Who did you experience all this with?" I question with curiosity. She looked down at the bed before smiling and looking back up to meet my gaze.

"Your father," she says sweetly, making me smile.

"When did you guys meet?"

"I was twenty-six. He was twenty-nine. I was at the car repair shop because I accidentally backed up into a pole and had to fix my bumper. I was arguing with the manager because the amount he wanted so he could fix it was too high, so your father came out from the back to see what the commotion was. He caught my eye so I looked at him and time seemed to stop still. I stopped yelling at the manager mid sentence and looked at your father. He smiled at me and gave me a lower price that pissed off his manager, but he swore he had it under control. After that, we went out on dates and here we are now," she explains with a small smile as she remembered what happened.

"That's really sweet, mom," I say, smiling softly.

"Yeah, I suppose. Well, I better start doing dinner before dad and your brother start complaining. Are you eating tonight?"

"No, I can't eat. If I do, I'll throw it up," I tell her and she nods, clearly upset that I still won't eat. She leaves without a word and closes my door with silence.