Akutagawa Bungo Stray Dogs One Shots

Inferior?

(A/N): This takes place right after episode ten season one! So yes I know he doesnt immediately wake up after his fight with Atsushi, but lets pretend ^.^ Akutagawa might be a little OOC but he is rather depressed/angry/sad in this fic so, please bear with me
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Your P.O.V

It was late when the door to the small clean apartment I shared with Akutagawa slammed open. I jumped a little in my seat on the couch and turned to face him. He was sopping wet and looked incredibly angry. I stood up quickly and walked over, "Akutagawa you're soaked! What happened to you?" I knew of his position in the mafia, hell I was part of that mafia until Akutagawa told me to quit so I was safer. He turned to me with a glare that would have scared even the strongest mafia boss. "Get out of the way." he shoved me into the wall and squished by in his wet shoes. "Akuta what's wrong, please tell me." I placed my hand on the wall next to me so I  could push myself off of it.  "Nothing, stop pestering me!" he shouted and put Rashomon to my throat. I stepped back against the wall, afraid of him for the first time in a long while. I had known him for many years, we were both low ranking individuals in the mafia together, then as time went on we learned to trust one another. Then eventually we became a couple and I quit the mafia. Never, in all our times together, had he threatened me with Rashomon before. He retracted Rashomon and looked at me with the same fierce expression. Then his gaze hindered and he looked at me with wide eyes, as if he just now realized what he was doing. "(Y-y/n)..." Akutagawa stepped backwards with an alarmed look in his eyes. "Akuta, i-it's okay. I'm not hurt. Now please tell me what's wrong." I started walking towards him on shaky legs. He kept stepping back until he hit on the opposite wall of our apartment and sank down until his knees where pulled up to his chest. "Akutagawa please..." I knew he was usually a cold person so this change in personality was startling to say the least. Then Akutagawa started mumbling something under his breath. "Akuta...." I stepped closer until I sat down on my knees, now eye level with him. His quiet ramblings went on for a while until I heard something I could finally understand, "He thinks I'm inferior to him....." then he kept speaking too quietly for me to hear, even being this close to him. I reached out to him and as my hand was about to make contact with his knee, he shot his body up off the floor burying his hands in his hair and shouted "I hate them! I hate them both! I-I'm n-not inferior..." his sentence getting quieter with each passing second until it was hardly a whisper again. I stood up and craddled Akutagawa's face in my hands trying to calm him telling him everything would be alright and that he was safe now. Whatever the mafia had set him up to today must have been terrible, he never acted this way, even after murdering mass amounts of people. I leaned my head on his to stared him in the eyes, "Akutagawa what happened today." I stated more than asked. "Dazai said I was inferior to his new superior and then when I faced off against him I thought I had him and then that damned weretiger, he, he, he-" Akutagawa started tugging on his hair again and averted his gaze the best he could. "Aku, calm down dear. You aren't inferior to anyone." I weaved my  fingers between his and attempted to remove his hands from his hair. His fingers clenched tighter into his hair, squeezing my fingers as well. "But I LOST (Y/n)! I lost to him!I'm weak and deserve to die! I am inferior!" his eyes started tearing up,"Dazai was right..... I learn slowly and Rashmon is a useless ability!" His eyes showed his anger and sadness, "...........And I almost killed you with it just now........." by now he looked angry at himself and there were tears streaking down his face every now and then. "You aren't weak Akutagawa, you are one of the strongest people I know, Dazai only called you weak to make you angry. Please Akuta, listen to me." I said in a steady and determined voice. "I AM WEAK! I'm the worst! I couldn't even beat that damned weretiger when I tried, I'm useless!" he yelled and pulled away from me, slamming his head, and the rest of his body, into the wall behind him. "Akutagawa!" I shouted and slammed my hands on the wall on either side of his head. He jumped and froze, looking like a complete mess with wet clothing and scared eyes. I took a deep breath and put one of my hands in his hair, this time removing one of his hands, "You aren't the worst. You are the best thing that has happened to me and you are not inferior to anyone. Do you hear me?" He slowly nodded his head and leaned forward to sink into my body. I could feel his weight falling more onto mine and wrapped my arms around him so he wouldn't crash to the ground. "I love you Akutagawa. It doesn't matter how strong you are, because you will forever be the strongest to me. We'll be okay, we can work through this. Now please calm down and come to bed with me, it's already really late." He nodded against my shoulder and let me lead him to our bedroom. I sat him on the edge of the bed, peeled off his coat and saw his body visibly shiver. "Let's get you into a warm bath so you don't catch cold. Keep undressing and I'll go start the water, okay?" I spoke quietly and looked at him with a gentle smile. His head had not looked up from the floor this whole time and gave a small nod. I turned to leave to the connected master bathroom when he grabbed my wrist. I turned back to him and gave another small smile, "I promise I'll be right through that door. I won't even close it if you don't want me to." His grip loosened and he nodded slightly again. I stepped toward the bathroom and made sure he was okay before I kneeled down in front of him so I could see his face, "Hey, look at me please Aku." I brushed his hair off of his wet forehead and placed both my hands on his cheeks. "I love you, you know that." I said and leaned up to kiss his forehead. Then his body let out another shiver and I jumped up from the floor and wrapped him in a hug, "I'm going to start the water now. Come in when you're ready." I whispered and let go of him.

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the bath tub faucet. In no time , steam was swirling in the air and I had started burning a calming candle to make the bathroom more soothing. I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I turned towards the door and saw Akutagawa standing there completely naked. Normally I would blush and not be able to look at him, but his small frail body was shaking and I couldn't even feel embarrassed, I felt bad for my beautiful boyfriend. "Come on Aku." I extended my hand to him and he reached out and walked towards me. I placed my hands onto the sides of his face and smiled up at him, "Get in the bath before you get sick." I whispered and helped him into the bath. I turned to leave the bathroom but Akutagawa grunted weakly and looked at me from the bath with sad dejected eyes. I laughed softly at him and sat down next to the bath. "Don't leave me." he managed to say weakly. "Never even dreamt of it dear." I responded and leaned my back on the tub.
~~~Time Skip to after bath~~~
I wrapped Akutagawa in a towel and ran to grab his pajamas, which was only a pair of boxers usually but today I grabbed him a black t-shirt as well. I handed his clothes to him as he finished drying off. He let out half of a grunt to thank me and got dressed. I dressed into my pajamas and walked back to Akutagawa in the bathroom to see him staring dully into the mirror at his own reflection. "Come on Aku, let's go to bed." I reached my hand out and let him grasp it lightly, pulling him gently to our bed. I laid him down and the laid down next to him cautiously. He rolled over and entangled his arms and legs with mine in less than a second, pushing his body as close to mine as he could. Every now and then he would let out a small whine and press his head further into the crook of my neck or hug me tighter. "(Y/n)...." Akutagawa whispered into my neck. "Yes dear?" I pet his hair with my fingers. "I love you, please never leave me. I need you." I hugged him closer to me and whispered back to him, "I love you too dear, I'll never leave you as long as I live. Let's try to get some sleep now." I felt him nod and eventually his breathing evened out and he snored lightly. "Goodnight my dearest." I kisses his forehead and decided to snuggle in myself.