Insecurities

Chapter One : New School

Chapter One : New School

I stand at the door of my new room and take a look at my new safe haven. I've just spent four hours unpacking the stuff for my room.

Mum and I have just moved into a new house about three hours from our old house. Which means I have to attend a different school ---- urghh! I absolutely dread change.

After taking one more look at my room I go downstairs to where my mum is unpacking the things for the living room, as I reach the last step I see my mum having a mental battle on where to put her favourite frangipani painting, I smile at myself because she does that thing with her tongue where she sticks it out of the corner of her mouth and her eyebrows are pulled together.

"Hey honey where do you think I should put it? On the left side of the window or the right side?" my mum asks once.she notices me.

"Um I think I like it on the right next to the wall so that the clock can go on the left and we will be able to see it from the kitchen" I reply. "ahh yes smart girl" she says back.

Yeah so its just been me and my mum since I was four. I don't know what happened to my dad because mum doesn't tell me and every time I mention him she changes the topic so I kinda gave up.

I help her finish unpacking which takes a solid five hours, i look at the clock and its 9pm, thankgoodness we don't have a lot of stuff otherwise we would have to unpack tomorrow again. After unpacking we're both so tired we just order a pizza and go to bed at around 9.30pm.

I don't fall asleep till midnight cause I spent the last few hours looking at myself in the mirror dispising the way I look.

I've got a boring shade of brown eyes and skinny arms and legs. I've got light scars on my face from previous pimple and I've also got stretch marks on the side of my stomach. I've got a pale face which I think it's from my dads side because my mums is pretty tan, because she part spanish but doesnt speak it.

Why am I so ugly?

Why cant I have a flat tonned stomach or a nice body or pretty eyes?

Is that why dad left?

No wonder you've been single your whole life. I think to myself. By the time I go to bed my eyes are red and puffy from crying, I eventually cry myself to sleep.

A/N : Hey