The Cheerful Pessimist | In Editing

The Cheerful Pessimist

The moon reflected off the water, creating lambent beams of white light that danced as my feet swung over the edge of the rock; breaking and rippling when my shoes kissed the water. The end of autumn was dawning and leaves fell to the water in fear of being carried away by the wind leaving the reckless to float away, ready to meet birds and shelter little from pain.
I carefully brought my legs back onto the rock and tucked my stomach to my feet to keep from falling as I stood. Jumping down from the rock, I began to remove my shoes and socks as an idea erupted from my mind. My eyes flickered from where I was standing beside the rock to the edge of the water and I began to take baby steps backward until I was satisfied with the distance that separated me from the night sky that supported itself on the surface of the water. Letting everything escape form my head, I ran as though lightning were my fuel and raced the leaves until I was surrounded by hiemal black. Adrenalin gripped my insides and I arose from the water. Laughing, I gazed up at the sky above me as I floated on the one beneath me. Was this how it felt to fly? The sun was awakening and the stars were fluttering as they grew tired. Clouds came quickly. Footsteps sounded and I could picture him looking up in panic as the water from the sky met with the sky on the water. He knew too. "You can't do this, please don't do this," I could hear his voice crack as he begged. He was wasting his breath as I waited for my final.

"I brought you sunflowers," he mentioned as if these plans could be changed. It's not like I chose for it to be like this, I just accepted it as he detested it. I had felt it late last night and I knew what was to come. I made my way to where we had first met and spent many days together since. I loved this place. I loved him. I loved sunflowers.

"Come on, it's raining you'll only get worse." This was a lie. I couldn't get any worse. This is as bad as it got. Not the sickness. Not the dying. I had made peace with that years ago. Leaving this place behind. Leaving him behind. Leaving sunflowers behind. Those were the worst parts.

"Please try to fight it."

I'd only be trying for you.

"I love you."

I love you too.

"You'll never see the moon again."

Goodnight moon.

"You'll never feel warmth again."

I'm not cold, I have you.

"It's raining, wouldn't you rather die in peace?"

"I find peace in the rain."