Wilted Roses

Chapter 1

They told me that love would come easy with the person your meant to be. "Marriage will be trying, often, but if the love is true, that, will make it more easy for you." my mother had said. I was convinced this was love, this was what I wanted, to be a wife and a mother. Even more to be a stay at home mother, to maybe some day do something big in my community. But after a few years things only became too hard to bare, and walls were built and set in stone. I'm not the person I used to be, I hardly find a smile on my face anymore and somedays I could deal without seeing people in general.

I find myself locked away in my room, escaping life into a book, into a world that seems so perfect. Then my kids come home barreling into the house like a herd of animals wrecking terror and begging to be feed, or needing help with school projects. Not long after, he comes home and wants things too, mostly he wants to bicker, wants to be feed as well and would enjoy if the house was completely quiet so that he can continue to work. He doesn't stop working until he's tired and at that point he goes straight to bed without a single "hello.", "you look lovely.", "how was your day?" or "I love you."

I feel stuck and I have no way out. It's been years since I actually worked, I'm 35 and I've not been to college and all I know is how to be the best mom I can be and how to not screw up. Although lately I've screwed up far more than I have before and for that I'm paying the ultimate price. I'm not sure if my husband is faithful anymore or if he wants me, but the one thing I am sure of is I can never do anything write, I'm lazy, and I'm worthless. I'm afraid of my future because it is completely unknown. The only thing that keeps me together are my kids they are perfect, they are a light to my completely black life.

~~~~

10 years prior

It's a warm summer day and I find myself in the park lying on a blanket reading a steamy romance novel I picked up from my local book shop a few hours ago. I also grabbed a cool black tea and some chocolate covered raisins. I'm on a thick red comforter that I stow in my car for exactly this. I love reading and on my day off if the weather is nice I like to go to the park to read. I sometimes find myself spending most of my afternoon lying on my blanket.

This particular day is very warm, I've drowsed off to sleep a few times over the past few hours. I'm lulled by the sun and its hot rays. Since I've spent most of my afternoon here I should phone Marisa to see how she is and if she'd like to get together for a bit tonight. Marisa and I have been friends since first grade, Her brother Ethan is a pain but She and he just got back from a road trip. I'm sure she has plenty of gossip to give me since they traveled home for their parents 30th anniversary and fathers day.

Im getting ready to type her a text when all of a sudden a frisbee comes flying across my blanket nearly hitting me in the face but I ducked away and it hit my tea bursting the lid off of it just before it toppled over. A tall man comes running over to retrieve the frisbee, he's speaking but I can't seem to make out what it is he's saying. Im completely mesmerized by this mans looks, he's tan, and his arm muscles are perfect, his face is hard as well, with a little bit of stubbled around his chin and his eyes are a perfect shade of sea blue, his hair is brown and shaggy, but his chest is broad and with abs like I've never seen. The guys at chippendales could totally beat him at a shirtless contest but still this man was just that, a man exuding loads of manliness. This makes me a chuckle a bit and I remember there is actually a real man standing in front of me talking. My cheeks burn with the thought that he may have caught me ogling him.

I look up at his face and he's smirking. Oh god he caught me ogling him. I cringe and just before I can say hi. He winks and then while running backwards tells me "I hope I didn't get you too wet!" I gasp just before I realize what he was actually implying, the tea spilt in the direction of my skirt and even though there was only a tiny bit left in the bottom of the cup it actually covered a good portion of my leg. His smirk though says that he was going for the double meaning in what he had said.