My life used to be normal

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For the record my life was normal .... A while ago . My names Shawn Anderson I always dreamed of working for the government you know being the next 007  well a female version. You know all those childish dreams laying wake at night dreaming of being a secret agent, fighting crime  saving  the world, I'm sure you know what I mean and if your shaking your head thinking I never did that your lying.
Well as usual I got more than I bargained for. Those who know me I'm sure will tell you that I'm not the luckiest person alive. In Fact I'm probably the opposite.
But before I got more than I bargained for I got less than I bargained for ( told you I had bad luck ) I ended up in statistics in a shoddy little shack offsite the main headquarters. Apparently I wasn't in the prime physical condition like all the other field agents.
I mean sooooo whattttttt if I really like pizza and chocolate and Netflix!!!!!!!!!
I topped my class in physEd I got a black belt in karate and I have a gun license.
But whatever I got everything I wanted now and more.
But for you to see what the heck I'm ranting on about a girl going from statistics to the job of her dreams and she's stillllll not happy I'll have to tell the story from the veryyy beginning.

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