Under The Willow Tree (GirlxGirl)

Firsts

Sasha, my friend whom I can't help but to crush on.

She shows never ending kindness to everyone, but it has this huge affect on me, more than others.

Sometimes when she smiles at me, I feel like I'm dying for a little and coming back to life. It's over exaggerated maybe but it's how I could describe it.

She was always the one to pay more attention to me in the group when no one spoke to me, she would always ask how my day was. And that simple question meant so much to me when it came from her, because it felt like she really cared. I'm sure she did.

And as my other friends talked of boys and crushes, we were the only ones to not join in. I always thought that Sasha was probably shy about it, and I never spoke because me loving a girl is a sin as my father had preached.

Sasha and I never spoke of that topic really, it'd always be about what was happening around us. Or sometimes we'd talk of our grades, or our next study session. Sometimes when we were at my house she would look out to my backyard and ask of the woods.

She always said she was curious of it. She once said her parents always mentioned how adventurous she was, but she'd like to just call herself nosy.

I remember once when I looked towards the woods, I thought of actually going to see the girl who sat under the willow tree again when Sasha left. But I refrained, feeling that it wasn't necessary and that I'd never even talk to the girl anyways.

Sometimes I would try to remember how the girl looked, because it had been so long since I've been in the woods, it had been two years. I wondered if her beauty even grew.

Of course I'd internally smack myself and focus on the girl who paid attention to me, sasha. Sasha, the sweet friend that I can't help but to crush on.

And one day when Sasha sat in my room, staring out to my backyard asked me a question.

"Can we explore the woods together?"

I couldn't quite place the tone of her voice, but when I answered with a yes a huge smile formed on to her lips.

I remember how excited she was when we got out to the backyard, shoes ready to take in the natural terrain of the woods. She took my hand and ran to the start of the trees and she gave me a look.

I knew she wanted me to lead the way, after all I knew it better than she did.

She held my hand tightly as we passed by the familiar trees I brushed my fingers across. We find that weeping willow, the girl was not there for it was past seven by then.

It was dark, but not very dark. There was somehow enough light to see even when the sun was nearly gone.

We stood under the willow tree, and Sasha looked up at it in amazement. I remember seeing that twinkle in her eye when she observed the tree's beauty.

She looked adorable, that's what I thought at that moment.

And suddenly she looked at me seriously, a blush barely noticeable on her cheeks. I remember how confused I was by this.

My heart sped up when she opened her mouth to speak, she asked me a question.

"Do you have a crush?"

I remember how nervous she sounded just asking the simple question, but I was at a loss for words. I didn't want her to know, nor did I want to lie, and so I said nothing.

She took a breath and spoke again with such a serious tone no one would probably recognize her voice.

She starts to tell me about how she really needs to tell me something, and how she hopes I won't laugh or be disgusted.

My heart beat was so loud I felt Sasha would hear, but I knew she couldn't.

And that's when the world seems to stop when she says it.

"I like you, like, more than a friend."

She said it with a slight stutter and looked down. Her usual smile was our of sight when she finally did look up.

She seemed to search my eyes for an answer, and so I just said "same here."

Thinking about it now, I know how stupid and scared I sounded. But I didn't regret it, as for what I got after it was magical.

She gives me a kiss.

Right on the lips, and I could feel that electrifying feeling. My stomach felt like butterflies were in it trying to escape, I had literally died and came back.

I could still remember how tense we both were during this, it was awkward and sloppy, but it was a first. I could even remember how we both grinned like idiots and laughed before she came for more.

I remember how I fell asleep comfortably that night with a smile, the girl that normally sat under the willow tree barely finding her way into my mind. But that doesn't mean she wasn't there at all.