lust // h.s.

Part 2|Feel Again

"Hello? Go back inside." Harry says again, his voice makes it snap in and I shut the door and stand behind it, watching it cautiously. Like it was the person in the hallway. It clearly wasn't, but wasn't seeing the only thing seperating you from the thing you feared just as scary? To know the thing you had seen was right behind it, it was that close to you. Knocking errupts from the door, loud and harsh. "Charlotte, what's happening?" I'm silent as I latch the lock on the door and hurry towards the bathroom, I get in and lock the door. "There's someone here." I say into the phone quietly,  as I watch the door. "What? Who?" He asks, "I- I don't know. They were running towards me but I couldn't see their face but-", "Where are you?" Harry interupts, and I can hear rustling from his end. "I'm in the bathroom.", "Get in the closet and be quiet." He demands."Don't tell me what to do Harry-" He cuts me off, with a harsh tone I hadn't heard in a while. "This isn't the time for this Charlotte, now get in the closet." I open the small door to the closet and shut it, backing myself up to the end until I find myself lost in coats.

"Okay be quiet, I'm going to hang up. But i'll be right there. Stay where you are and don't leave. Understand?" I keep quiet, "Charlotte." He says softly, which I reply with a, "Yes." And hang up.

I know it wasn't time to fight with Harry, but I hated when he was so overprotective. When he was so demanding. I just wanted to strangle him.

Why couldn't he be normal? He could just push, push, push, push, and push until he finally got what he wanted. And he always did. I wonder he had ever been disappointed, clearly he had. But, sometimes it seems as he hadn't. He takes everything as a joke until it ends up on his plate or ends badly. Then he realizes. He doesn't think what he says before it comes out. He can't control his anger. There were just so many things wrong with him that sometimes I wondered if the good things outweighed the bad.

And of course, they did.

He made me feel like nobody else could. 

He could change the entire outlook on my day with a simple gesture, or make me feel like I was on Cloud 9. He made me feel safe. Like I didn't have anything to fear, when I had to fear everything.

And I hated it.

I slip my phone into the pocket of my cardigan and a massive bang comes from the living room and within a moments time I can hear banging on the bathroom door. The banging continues, until the door bursts open. I can hear heavy footsteps on the floor and scoot back, pressing my back against the wall. The person seems to be scuffling throughout my cabinets and drawers, and I hear more slamming. "Charlotte, it won't be long till your mine. Why hide? It's no use love." The voice coo's.

It wasn't Aiden, or Charlie or Jake. Not Austin. 

I could feel the panic rush over me, and begin to scoot farther back. Even though I was already pressed against the wall. The doorknob begins to rattle violently, shaking like an earthquake would have."Come out." The voice urges, the shaking grows more violent as I try to scoot back even farther. "Come out now!" The voice barks roughly, and I can feel the tears beginning to well in my eyes as I scurry around to find something to defend myself.

And silence.

Complete silence.

A door slams and fast footsteps walk towards the door and pull it open, I press myself in deeper as arms wrap around me. I push roughly, and kick taking a hanger that I had grabbed to their chin. "Char, calm down baby." A man says softly, "It's okay, it's me." I feel my body relax into his arms as he says those words because;

It's Harry.

I burry my face into his thin black shirt, and grip onto his body tightly. "Hey, it's okay. It's fine." He whispers against my ear, his lips touching it softly as his hand pushes up my shirt to rub the small of my back. I can feel my entire body tense back up at his touch, his lips press against my upper neck softly and his hand continues to move in circles.

My body begins to tremble beneath his touch, I could feel all the feelings churning back up within me; Lust, Hate, Love, Resentment, Fear. His soft, wet kisses left a mark on my neck as his face appeared above me. 

I took in his striking features,

His deep green eyes were peircing in the darkness of the room, his jawline was perfectly aligned, and his lips looked soft, and moist. The longer I looked at him, the more I realized, he was beautiful. I guess I'd forgotten how definite he was in looks, how perfect he was. His lips squared in towards mine, so close to mine I couldn't breath without touching them.

The tears that were rimming my eyes before were still their, if not more existent. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to kiss him. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to feel it again, that scared feeling that would live in the pit of my stomach whenever things go wrong, I didn't want to be dependent on him again. I didn't want to trust him again.

In an instant, his fingertips swept over my cheek. Caressing my face within his soft hand, his lips grew closer to mine. I could feel his slow breaths against my hand that was resting on his chest as I watched his tongue run over his lips again. "Close your eyes." He whispers, and I keep them wide open. "Close your eyes." He whispers again, his minty breath beating down on me. 

I close my eyes, as he teases my lips slowly. Making me want him even more, I could feel my heart drop as his lips brush against mine. In a split second he forces his lips to mine, and his grip tightens softly, holding my face closer to his. Our lips move in sync against eachother, 

This is the feeling I'd been needing, I'd been craving. But at the same time I feared it, I didn't want it to happen because I knew what would happen when I did. And the feeling had came, as his soft lips felt rough against mine, and his fingers ruffled my hair softly I pulled away.

Taking a step back I caught his eyes, as a dazed, dumbfounded expression took over his features and mine too.

That wasn't supposed to happen.