Dedicated to loners out there.
There was that time when I first came to that place in Philippines. I transferred there as new student.
My first days and weeks there were painful. People from my room kept staring at me-with eyes like a vulture. With them looking at me so angerily, I felt like their vicious eyes have already tear my flesh into pieces.
They were also some days when I stepped in the room-whispers of insults hummed everywhere.
I did have some friends there, but most of them turn their backs. I only trusted one person that time. She was really my bestfriend. I have admit we were very close to each other, and I was very clingy to her. I never wanted her to leave my side. She was my only trusted friend. She was the who always hears me out.
Even if I walk through a narrow isle of rumours and gossips of insecurity and hatred at the sides-I gained some courage to just walk it off, and ignored their immature lies.
But when we reached 6th grade, someone stole her from me. Someone much more powerful than me-that made me drain all my courage and replaced it with my loneliness again.
For 3 years, I suffered severe heartache from bullies. I was so traumatized-that even approaching to new people gave me horrific counciousness. I was afraid to make new friends. I was afraid to be betrayed again. I was afraid to be left alone again.
After I graduated 6th grade, I felt a little relief. I had already left that haunting place, the place that made me tremble in fear.
And so the freshmen year has started, I thought this year of my life, would be the change of everything. I changed myself to a new, strong, and happy person and threw that lonesome past away. I made a lot of friends-friends that never betrayed me, friends that adored me, friends that comforted me, friends that loved me. I thought everything would be alright.
But the past still haunts and follows me.
There was this girl, I used to treat her a nice person. We weren't really friends. We were just being nice to each other, giving each other some respect. But one day, she made gossips about me and spread it through out the classroom and what hurts me the most is that she keeps saying that word everyday, and me being confused of whom she meant it to,just go along with it.
That's when one of my friends told me the truth during on our Christmas Party. Hearing about it, tears dripped down through my face. I don't know why but it made my heart ache again. It's nostalgic for me.
Remembering again the painful past, reminiscing the haunting days.
For that moment, it was like my whole world was shattered again. And for days, I wept inside the bathroom. Weeping in sorrow and complete pain.
I'd almost given up that time. I almost gave up myself from this horrible world of mine. I almost shutdowned myself because of the wickedness of the people around me.
But then I remembered myself. That I have changed. That I made myself even more stronger.
And so once again, I stood on my feet. But this time, with the aide of my new friends. They were my shoulders to lean on whenever I weep, and my legs to stand on whenever I stumbled down from the hatred that kept pushing me aggresively. And they were my strength, that until now helped me kept on fighting from all the consequences and troubles that I had faced.
Until these days, I still remained who I am now.
If this story has any lesson you might can get is--It's ok to stumble and fall. We all do that because nobody is ever created perfect. But if you know how to fall down, you must also know how to stand up by your own. In this world, we live individually. The people around are just temporary. We'll never know when they will fade away. So it's best to know things by your own than being very dependent by others.
Ctto: Rightful Owner of the story.
(A/N: I don't name names, to prevent the people involved in this story, [or any of my stories] from being exposed to the public. 😊)
"Have courage,and be kind."
-Cinderella, 2015
