once before // ashton irwin

chapter three // holding on.

"College is hard," I whine as I drag myself into the back room, throwing my things onto the table as if it were my bedroom. I can hear Jimmy groaning, hating when I do that. 

"And here I thought that annoying teenage angst would be gone once you went to college," He smirks as I take my spot behind him at the front corner. I roll my eyes and stick out my tongue at him.

Jimmy is a family friend of ours. I've grown up around him since I was a little kid. He's Nate's - my older brother - godfather, I believe. And when I was legal working age, he swooped me up and swore he was going to make me the kid with the 'best goddamn taste in music ever'. 

When I decided to stay here for college, I don't think I've ever seen him so happy; though he said it was because then he didn't have to train in someone new, though I know it's because he'd miss having me around. 

"How's business been today?" I ask as I reach forward and nibble off of his plate of food, trying to snatch something up before he can smack my hungry fingers away.

"Fairly slow," He mutters as he smacks my hands away, just as I knew he would, "There was a man that came in and wanted to buy off all of our Tom Petty..." He goes on to recount today's events, like always, but he trails off, his attention being grabbed by something outside.

Then suddenly his face lights up, causing my face to twist with confusion. I glance in the direction that he's staring and immediately my stomach drops, threatening to spill its contents all over the place. 

The messy hair peeking out from beneath a beanie.

The skinny jeans with a worn-in band t-shirt; the sleeves rolled up.

The effortless bounce to each step.

"Shit!" I hiss, my heart pounding loudly in my chest. In a moment of panic, I throw myself to the ground, landing at Jimmy's feet. 

I take sanctuary behind the tall counter, getting close and comfortable with the worn-in wooden flooring. 

"What the hell?" He exclaims, stepping back to give me an incredibly confused expression.

"Shhh!" I bring my fingers to my lips as I try to make myself as small as possible, wishing I could just evaporate into thin air. 

Bringing my knees to my chest, I flatten myself against the counter as much as possible, squeezing my eyes shut. The bell dings above the front entrance, sucking the air right from my lungs. My pulse quickens to a hazardous speed, making my panic reach a new high. 

"Ashton," Jimmy greets, causing me to wince in pain just from hearing his name; the name I have been avoiding all these months.

Why is he here? Why is he doing this to me? Does he not realize how much pain he's put me in and he's only making it worse by showing up out of the blue. I've worked so hard to just forget he ever existed. 

I mutter prayers through my breathing, that Jimmy will keep my location a secret. No matter how childish and immature it is to be hiding from him. 

I just can't do it.

"Jimmy," Ashton's voice slaps me across the face, forcing me to bite down hard on my knuckle. His high-pitched accent rings out, sounding so much like home. 

It's been so long since I've heard that voice; I can still remember the last words he ever said to me. Words that have replayed in my head ever since that day like a broken record. 

But unlike a broken record, I can't throw his words away.

"What's new with you, son?" Jimmy asks, his voice sounding just as warm and friendly as it always is.