When I Contemplated Suicide, by Mary (2)

When I Contemplated Suicide

'You too, huh?'

Mary looked up from her bloodcovered hands. It was Sammy. He turned his gaze on the dead man; his tongue licking the pavement, his chest carved with the bloody shape of egret wings. His garrote grasped in his hands.

'Can you stand?'

Mary did not respond. Her hands moved to cover the two growing bruises on either side of her neck. Sammy watched this and leaned against the wall of the church.

'Come on,' he said wearily.

Sammy approached her. She jumped and backed against the wall, her shoulders elevated. She stared at him unblinking.

He raised his hands to show no harm. 'Shh. It's alright. Let's go to my house and get you cleaned up.'

'I-I don't want to hurt you.'

'I'm not worried about that.'

'Sam.' Her voice caught in her throat; when it emerged it came as a wretched cry. She fell crumpled against the wall into herself. He knelt and helped her onto her feet.

Mary smelled of blood and urine. Her arms dangled as they walked. Blood eked from her fingers to dot the pavement. Mary rested her head limp on his shoulder.

The moon grinned as Sammy and Mary, at some meaningless time before sunrise, traversed Leverett and turn down Kelley street.

Sammy unlocked his door. Mary just stood behind him. Unable to think. Unable to comprehend.

There was a void. One minute Kaplan was there choking her, lifting her against the brick wall. His eyes bulging out in mania. She was approaching death. Its red hands were gripping the edges of her vision.

Next moment, Kaplan was ripped open and Mary had blood on her hands.

She felt some movement and realized that Sammy was again pulling her.

'Can you take your boots off?' he asked in the foyer.

Mary nodded and bent to her shoelaces.

'Your socks, too.'

She removed those as well.

They moved into the living room. The light came on. Goldie rushed from the hallway tying her nightrobe. When she saw Mary she gasped and reached towards her.

'Mom,' said Sammy. He stared blankly at her. 'This is our business.'

She lowered her hands, which began fretting with each other. 'Alright. I understand.' She tapered off. 'If you need anything.'

Sammy nodded. Mrs. Henderson watched them pace across the room. The bathroom door closed. Leaving her with silence and then the emergence of the air conditioner. Mrs. Henderson could not stop thinking of what could have happened.

Inside the bathroom, Sammy put her baseball cap in the sink and started the shower. Steam rose from the spray.

'Do you like it hot?'

Mary mumbled 'yes'.

He left and returned with a hamper holding folded clothes. These he set on the counter. He threw the hat into the hamper.

'Wash up. You'll feel better.'

'Sam, I...did I kill him?'

'Don't think about that. He was trying to kill you. Whatever happened worked out for you. You're alive. That's what matters.' Sammy squeezed her arm and went out, closing the door.