• heartache

when you left;

I watched you leave
right in front of my eyes.
the words you spoke to me
were nothing but lies
that only such a broken heart
would take seriously.

I told my mom
I tried to stop loving you,
without the intention of asking
myself who I loved the most:

me or you.

it was quite a hard task cause,
the feeling of missing you
was worse then the feeling of
falling to my knees after dinner
feeling like the butterflies
in my stomach have betrayed me,
turning my sadness into anger.

I can't blame you,
you did nothing wrong,
but out of the blue
I felt something so strong
that was turning me weak
each and every week.

I wanted you to change your mind,
I'm closer now aren't I?
all my close steps meant
danger to you,
I'm so sorry for blaming you.

all we had were nothing but fights
why would I suffer when
someone leaves?
maybe one of these nights
we'll know what it means.

C.S. 05/05/16
(a poem about my one sided love)