Abused
There's a scar on my bottom lip
Bruises I don't talk about...
There's too many freckles that enhance the leftover pain
Nightmares gnawing on my sleep
Sheep that turn to wolves
They run after me trying to bring me back into the Haunted House
I thought you loved me like a sister and nothing more
However you loved me as someone you thought about
Spending your whole life (and last minute) with
Torturing me for your own pleasure and leaving me for the end
You wanted to protect me from the demons
They inhabit this inhumane and dirty earth
But you were never too late to take me away
Into my head through the shallow cracks and holes
You have created and molded them by years of abuse.
I always knew you as the boy who lived in the house next door
But over the years you became someone more
Who i would turn to when i needed to talk or needed advice
You had the ability to make me smile or laugh
Even in the worst of times and believe me, there were plenty.
Door locked and parents thinking i was sleeping
I was crying on my bedroom floor at two in the morning
You knocked on my window and held me while I cried
We fell asleep on my bed and the nightmares didn't come that night.
A repeat of the last night happened
Fresh bruises and contused ribs were father's specialty
You held me again this time and cleaned up cuts
Which were caused by an empty Vodka bottle
And once again, i had no nightmares
As you covered me up in a blanket and slept sitting up
With my head in your lap
You slowly became the boy that held me every night
And i no longer had nightmares- only peaceful dreams
That were to never become my sadistic reality
And the boy who would come by the house every morning
Offering me a ride to school and breakfast on the way,
Hot muffin from Mongolia's in your left hand, keys in the right;
Over time, we grew close until it turned into something inevitable.
After a terrible repeat of the other nights, one where i had a broken wrist,
You threatened to call the police but you kept quiet,
Because everyone knows the good lawyer in a small town
Wouldn't do something so terrible to his own daughter
I was scared what had happened the night before and prayed you'd forget
The next morning everything went as usual except everything felt changed
Nonetheless, you continued to be who you were by day
Being the sweet boy who i grew up with, by night.
.
I wish I were beautiful so I could forget
About the burns on my thighs
And the scars on my arms
I wish I were beautiful
So I could listen to compliments
Without correcting them in my head
I wish I were beautiful
So I could set myself free
From the constant bickering
That plagues my dreams and nightmares
I wish I were beautiful so I could live out
The goals I have yet to set
The love I have yet to feel
The man I have yet to find
Dark purple bruises that you inflicted cover my arms
Bright red scratches leave my legs shaking
I can't do anything; wouldn't know what to do
So helpless, so alone
I can never be right; can never be the same
Every step another mistake
No one can find out
That will make it worse
When the ones who gave you life
Are the ones taking it away
When you have that dear friend that protected you
However is getting a piece of you too
All I can do is lay here
Silently screaming for salvation
