If Only, If Only! (song collaboration with @Beauty_lies_within )

Hurt from pain of a broken heart,

Days go on as if they are dark,

Looking for happiness, the light to return,

My soul feels empty, deceptive, a burn.

If only, if only,

I drove through each mile.

Hurt has my soul been.

I am alive, so smile.

Each day I live, the pain consumes

What little sanity I have bloomed

Like walking in a cloud of fog

Falling down, sinking into smog

Life just seems grim

I think on a whim

Interest lost in everything I do

But what a life, who really knew?

Depressed to a fault, that all I see

Death just seems like the only way for me

A waste of time, I feel I am

But that's its nature, a full mind jam

I try and try to ease the pain

A fallen effort with no gain

Thoughts begin to eat away

Makes me want to end it today

Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel

I pray and wish this all wasn't real

Life just seems more like a prison

Caged, alone, an abomination risen

No one could ever understand

Why I would want my death sooner than planned

Its not something I want for me

But to end my suffering this is what has to be

So I write this all as I fall from grace

Down to this place, some barren waste

I know not how much longer I will last

But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.

If only, if only,

For me to die I must.

But it's not enough,

We fall, dust to dust.

As I sit in my room,

Wondering what I should do, 

I slowly take this knife, 

And try to form a better life.

The pain is released from my body by now,

I just can't help but to scream out loud.

Everything is erased, 

I know I can easily be replaced.

I'm stuck in this place, 

Against all human race,

Drinking away the pain,

It keeps me from going insane.

The dark is one place I don't fear,

Asking myself, when am I getting out of here?

These thoughts keep coming to my mind, 

Just wish I could find,

The truth that says it all.

I want to give up and just let everything fall.

The world as we know it is coming to an end.

I'm wondering if I should press, delete, or send?

Where were you when I needed you the most?

Why are you so scared of my ghost?

Trying to keep from falling apart, 

Stabbing me in the heart.

I know that my future isn't supposed to be here,

It's supposed to be in a grave that is very near.

I want to say goodbye to my family and friends, 

Just want to let you know that there are dead ends.

Whatever happens in the future,

I want you to know what I say is pure.

If there was one piece of advice I could give,

I would say just sit back and live how you want to live.

Now I think it's time for me to go, 

In hopes that this poem will bring you home.

Is this really true,

I don't know what else I can do.

I want to give you this rose, 

The end was so close,

But now it's so far away,

That is I'm done, I have no more to say.

If only, if only,

See the sun, I do!

Let the darkness go.

A better day awaits you...