Why me?

1

Josh was the love of my life. His smile, his hair, his arms, his legs, him. I was a nobody. I don't get it how could he love me? He says that I'm amazing and that he loves me but he can't expect me to believe that. We meet 2 years ago I thought he was the most beautiful person ever. who knew we would be here today. It hurts it's hurt for the past 2 years. Knowing that you love someone so much and they don't back. But the worst part is I know he loves me as much as I do him.

But I don't let myself believe it

I can't

I want to be perfect for him
Like he is for me
But that will never happen

I convince myself he will leave on day
I hope when he does it won't hurt to bad

I'm like a puzzle that's pieces are all bent up and you try to put me together but it's not perfect
So you leave it and forget about it
At least that's how I see it

I can't deal with these feelings
Not for longer
I need a way to escape

Josh is sleeping next to me his arm around my waist and my head nuzzled in his chest his hair in his face and a little drool escaping the corner of his pink lips. I'll miss him

So much

But he won't miss me

I'm not worth missing

I leave that afternoon and tell josh I love him one last time and then head down to the bridge by our apartment building

The waters so black its blue

It's beautiful

It calls my name

I lean forward and brace my self for the release of these feelings, these thoughts

To be free

I'm sorry josh..

As I fall I feel a arm around my chest pull me back hard and the pain burns my body

•Everything goes black•