First and Last.

I'm here..again

All I can see are lights. Those flickering lights. It flickers like stars in the sky. Flickers like lights in the heaven,flickers like in the kingdom of god.

"You have to save her doctor!!" My mom shouted. I can't see her. But I can clearly hear her. She stumbles when she speaks. That means she's worried.

"I'm going to do everything I can to save her Mrs.Montenegro" the doctor said. she's calming her down.

All I know is I'm dying.

-----

"Baby? Can you hear me?" Mom held my cheeks.

Yes mom I can hear you..I can't just speak. Her voice. Her voice cracked the minute she spoke.

"She needs to rest. She'll be okay sooner or later." Doctor added

"Tita?"

SHIT. I HEARD HIS VOICE. I HEARD HIM. HE'S HERE. I WANT TO SHOUT. I WANT TO SEE HIM. But I can't open my eyes.. I can't even move my lips. I can't say a word..

"Why are you here jmiel? Go home."

MOM DON'T. I NEED TO TALK TO HIM. Please..

"Tita pleasee!! I'm sorry for what happened. But tita,I need to talk to her. I have to express how much I love her. Tita,I'm serious with your daughter. I love her so much. Please tita I BEG YOU."

I WANT TO CRY. I WANT TO SHOUT. BUT ONLY A TEAR CAME OUT. NO WORDS NO SOUND BUT ONLY A TEAR LET GO.

"Don't kneel son." Mom said. She's crying. She's crying too. But mom,YOU HAVE TO LET HIM TALK TO ME.

What?! He's kneeling to my mom? The badboy who made my heart beat is actually begging and pleading? I'm crying. I WANT TO HUG HIM RIGHT NOW. I WANT RO SPEAK BUT NO WORDS CAME OUT. I'm crying with no sound.
But it looks like.

I'm prisoned in my own body.

I cried but only a tear came out. My heart's shattered into pieces without a sound..

"Fine,son. You can talk to her,you can also kiss her goodbye.."

He's crying. I can hear him crying. My happiness is crying..

I can feel someone's holding my hands.
I can feel the tears dropping in my skin.

The warmth of his tears. The warmth of his hands. I know it's him.

"I love you so much baby please remember that. I'll never forget your smile. I'll never forget how you blush. I won't forget how you laugh when I tickle you in your tummy. I won't forget how your tears falling on your cheeks when I say something romantic. But b-baby I have to leave you. I'm leaving you,but I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU. I promise you that. Your mom is right. If I chose to be with you I might kill you. I don't want to let you die in my arms because of me. Promise me something,please be happy. Even I'm not here by your side,please smile often. And please live long. You'll gonna be okay,right? Your a fighter remember? I remembered how you fought me when I teased you. Haha. I miss that so much. I miss you so much. Come back baby. Heal that weak heart. I know your strong. Your a hella' brave woman I ever see. And I admire you for that. If only I can give you my heart,I already did. I'd be always thinking of you babe. I love you so much. You'll be always the reason why I wake up in the morning. You'll be always the reason why I stay up in middle of the night and cry. I love you chloe. I love you so much."

I felt his lips touched mine.
I know he can see the tears falling.
I can't help it.

I WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND TIGHT. I WANT TO KISS HIM BACK. I WANT TO HUG HIM LIKE I'VE NEVER HUGGED HIM BEFORE. but I can't. I can't move all I can do is cry.

No more warm hands holding.
No more tears falling.
No more 'him' by my side.

He already left.

Again,my heart's shattered into pieces.
But all I can do is to let go the tears that my eyes are holding.