Love Is In The Air

How small Fannemel really is - Tom Hilde x Anders Fannemel

I let myself fall onto the comfortable bed and sigh. Today's training session was so hard!
"How come that such a small person has that strong legs?", I whine and Anders Fannemel laughs. It's a really precious sound. Why am I even thinking something like this? I shake my head to get rid of the thought.
"Answer me, small one", I say and glare at my roommate who just shrugs and shyly tells me he doesn't know.
I want to ask again, but my attention is drawn to something else already.
"Play something on the guitar for meeeee", I beg, but it's the kind of tone that doesn't accept 'no' as an answer.
"What do you want me to play?", he asks softly while he concentratedly attunes the instrument. Watching him is funny, because he sticks his tongue out of the corner of his mouth very cutely.
Oh my. Why do I keep having those thoughts for the past weeks now? It's really weird.
Then I suddenly remember that Anders has asked me a question.
"I don't know. Whatever you like most!", I screech happily as I jump up and down on my bed.
When he looks at me expectantly I stop and sit down as calmly as I possibly could, not before having taken a picture of Anders though.
He laughs at my failing attempts to sit completely still. Can he not stop doing this?
"What's so funny?", I ask harshly and my roommate immediately stops laughing. Somehow I miss the sound now.
The soft tunes fill the air and I recognise the song which makes me smile.
I keep asking Anders to play songs for me while I post a pic on Instagram - the one of him holding the guitar next to one of me holding an ukulele, of course with the tag #howsmallfannemelreallyis - and then while I just lie in bed.
Later Anders sees the post and somehow looks sad, and that makes my stomach feel weird, but I ignore it and just laugh it off.

Five days later we are at the airport where I walk around with Anders and Andreas to stop myself from getting bored and therefore pulling pranks on the others.
"That Toblerone is huge", Anders says and points over to a shelf with half-meter packs of Toblerone. It looks like he wants to laugh, but stops himself from doing it.
"Great!", I shout excitedly and people around us stare at me weirdly, however, I don't mind. An idea has already formed in my mind.
"Hold it and I will take a photo?", I then ask pretty nicely and Anders looks like he wants to argue, but then he just nods and does it anyways.
After that I ask Andreas to hold a normal pack of Toblerone and I take a photo of him, too, before posting both of them on Instagram next to each other and with the tag #howsmallfannemelreallyis again of course.
"Why did I know you would do this", he whines like a small child and looks at me disappointedly while pouting sweetly. "Don't complain", I answer sharply and push him a bit with my elbow so he stumbles.
Even though he nearly fell, he just turns to me, smiles a little and silently says: "Alright."
Why is he even putting up with all the shit I am giving him? He doesn't deserve such treatment. I keep posting those photos so his fans see and I also mock his height in front of the others all the time and I push him around whenever I feel like it. I know it's wrong but I can't seem to stop, there's something about him that I just have to fight!
Now he sits in the chair across from me and looks like he is deep in thoughts. I poke his leg. "Small one, small one, small oneeeee", I repeat over and over until he gives in to me and moves his head up so his eyes meet my gaze.
His eyes are so blue and deep that I nearly lose myself in them, but Anders stops me from doing so by asking: "What, Hilda?"
"You looked sad. Smile!"
He gives me a small smile. I pout (very cutely if I may say so myself) and my teammate's smile widens.

One strenuous flight later we finally are at the hotel. "I am sharing with Anders!", I shout although everyone knows that, we always share. My roommate just nods and follows me to our spacious room that is filled with modern furniture.
While he carefully unpacks and sorts everything he has brought, I just push my suitcase in one corner.
"Tom", my best friend scowls at me, "can't you be organised at least one single time?"
He knows exactly that if I don't unpack my stuff now, I won't do so for the whole time we stay here either. I just shrug. "Shut up", I murmur, but he doesn't seem to have heard me as he doesn't answer. "You really annoy me sometimes", I say and immeditely regret it when Anders looks hurt and apologises. "No, I am sorry", I say while moving my hand through my hair, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I am so mean. Sorry."
Before I can blink, the small Norwegian has rushed over to me and hugs me very tightly while gently stroking my back.
"Don't worry, Hilda", he tries to soothe me, "It's fine."
I push him away which makes him look hurt again, but he quickly covers it with a small smile. This time I don't apologise. "How would you know?", I hiss angrily.
"Well, after all it's me you are doing those things to", he retaliates in a small voice. When I glare at him he immediately shuts up, lets the smile leave his face and turns away from me.
I sigh. Why am I doing that? I have the desire to hug him again and make him feel better and - No! What am I thinking? I have to fight this urge, and therefore Anders. It's just wrong.
I watch him sort his things and listen to my favourite playlist at the same time.
I close my eyes and don't realise that tears are rolling down my cheeks until my roommate lies down next to me on the bed and wipes them away. Immediately my eyes open again and I look at him a bit lost and confused while his hand still rests on my cheek which makes me feel warm and safe somehow.
He doesn't say anything and I am glad about it, because I fear that I might be mean again.

We will be having dinner in half an hour. At the moment I have this nervous feeling again and I block all of Anders' attempts to start a conversation or have any other kind of interaction. I simply stare out of the window and contemplate how I can make him hate me, so there's no way that my feelings for him could develop. I have admitted to myself that I fell in love with him, with my best friend and this has to stop. It just can't be.
"Tom?", the person I have been thinking about addresses me, "let's go down to meet the others for dinner."
He doesn't wait for an answer but instead turns away and leaves the room. I quickly follow him and pull out my phone to put my next plan into action.
Anders walks down the hall in front of me and I film his back. Then I tilt the camera to the ground so one can see his feet. I trip him and Anders, to whom this came completely unexpectedly, stumbles, can't catch his balance and falls down a few steps of the stairs. I rush over to him, but someone else is quicker than me and helps Anders get up. "Are you hurt?", Kenneth asks before turning to me and hissing: "Seriously, Hilde? This was dangerous. I better not find this on social media!"
"Too late", I shrug as I have already added it to my Snapchat story.
Anders grabs Kenneth's arm and silently says: "Kenny, I'm fine. And don't worry, I don't mind."
Kenneth seems to buy his lie, but I see the scared look on Anders' face when he turns to look at me one last time before he starts going downstairs. I also notice how he winces, when Kenneth lightly touches his waist by accident.
Have I actually really hurt him? I didn't want that! I just want him to stay away from me, so I could stay away from him, but I didn't mean for this to happen. Now I feel slightly nauseous and refuse to eat much which isn't noticed by anyone, because instead they scold me for humiliating Anders once again. I know they are right, but I can't stop doing it until my feelings for him have vanished.

The following morning I am woken by silent voices in the room. When I open my eyes I see our doctor sitting on Anders' bed. Faster than a lightning bolt I stand next to him and want to find out what happened to my small roommate. He is covered in bruises. The sight nearly stops me from breathing. What has happened?
"Don't worry, just use this ointment and they will vanish soon", our doctor now says, "Tom can help you with that, right, Tom? And if the pain becomes worse, call me again. You can take painkillers. No training today if you want to jump tomorrow."
I nod and promise to keep a watchful eye on Anders. As soon as the doctor has left, I take the ointment and tell Anders to lie down so I can apply it to the bruises.
"You don't have to do this, I can manage it myself."
"Shut up, small one, I want to do it."
Anders shivers and tenses while I put ointment on the bruises that have formed on his beautiful torso and his arms. I enjoy feeling his strong muscles under my fingers, but I need to focus!
When I have finished, I leave to get him some breakfast. As I come back, voices from inside the room stop me from entering.
"...can't he stop? He's hurting me. He made me have those bruises and they hurt with every move. But my heart hurts even more. And he doesn't realise it! I never complain about anything he does, I love him too much for that. But he doesn't notice and he switches from nice and caring to evil and hurtful so fast! What have I done to him, I..."
I choose that moment to knock on the door and enter.
"I brought you breakfast. Is the ointment helping?", I say without. paying attention to Andreas who is sitting next to him.
"See", Anders silently says to him as he is leaving the room and he nods.
My roommate the turns to me and looks scared, like he expects me to be mean again.
"I am so sorry", I whisper, "I tried to hurt you so I would stop having feelings for you, but I can't."
I bury my face in my hands.
"What?"
"I love you. I love you, I love you."
"I love you, too."
Those four words make me feel all warm and happy.
"But I don't know if I can live with you after everything that happened. Give me time."
I expected it.
"Don't worry. I will wait for you."
There his precious laugh is again and finally he isn't afraid of showing it anymore.

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word count: 1945 words