Hope Or Denial

chapter 1 ¿

Denial. What is it really? Some people say that it's a wrong way of living. Others think that I is the exact opposite. That it can save you from heartache, loss,and grief. What would those people think then. They think of hope as the perfect way of living. That it's like a bright light in the dark. Do you know what bright lights attract? They attract predators and killers. Maybe people shouldn't be so naïve. If you had to choose which life to live, which would you choose?
My name is Sunshine. And I live with both sides.

I guess you don't have to guess which life I chose. I didn't actually get to choose. at least not yet. I told myself that I knew deep down what I would choose, I just couldn't say it. Does that mean I could be wrong? Maybe I want a different life, a different destiny. I knew I couldn't tell anyone about my suspicions or they would think I had fallen in love with a Denialist. (People who choose to live in denial). I mean that's just ridiculous. How can anyone live like that? I mean I can imagine but it doesn't seem right. My people think of denial as a poisen. Can you really blame them? Who am I to correct them when I don't really know for sure.

 A guard came to my door that night anf reminded me we had a meeting with the board at 9 am.

"Wer will await your arrival," the guard said in his shining armor. He nodded at me as if that made the visit more pleasant.

 "I will be there. Do you know where it is?" I had almost forgotten to ask.

 " We will be at the theatre on third Street." he said with a it of annoyance in his voice. It looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't look forward to these visits.

 When I realized that neither of us were going to say anything else I turned to go. The guard saw his opportunity and took it. When I returned to my two-story house my bet friend was waiting for me.

 "Poor boy. You sacred him off! Why is it you always do that?" Shayla asked.

 I looked at my best friend and wondered how she could be so ignorant. Did she not notice how annoyed the guard was when he fist got here? Instead I decided to play dumb "What are you talking about, he was talking to me. What do you mean I scare them off?"

She gave me an incredulous look, like she thought I was kidding. When she realized t=iw asn't she just sighed. "What I mean to say is that you can sometimes be.......... too superior. Okay no. That's not what I wanted to say. I mean sometimes you don't realize you're crushing the guard's hopes and dreams of being with you." When she finished talking he face looked up at me fearful of what I might say.

 I looked at her with a serious face and said " Well I know what you're saying believe me I do. I jus don't want to lead them on and then break their heart when I tell them  I'm not interested." I told her all of this while picking up one of my favorite books.

 At that she rolled her eyes "Why are so serious? I mean you're beautiful and you should be bresking hearts wherever you go." Shayla looked at me with a mischievious look in her eyes.

 Instead of an answering her I turned back to my books, they can take me wherever I want.When I read it's like I'm in the story and watching things unfold before me. My friend was still talking when I zoned into the conversation.

 "......I just can't wait until the Nightshade Ball! Can you imagine? Dresses, music, and dancing!"

 I looked at Shayla and tried to hold back my groan of annoyance. I hated dancing. It seemed like every time a guy danced with me he thought he was dancing with a lion. "I know i'm so excited! I have the perfect dress picked out