understanding

You can also find this fanfiction on my tumblr :) > http://trashy-fangirlz.tumblr.com/post/142514040631/understanding-undertale-fanfiction

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The house was silent, all that could be heard was the soft snores of the residents that lived there, all apart from one chubby skeleton who was pacing across the rooms of their relatively large house. Trying his hardest to settle his restless mind, fighting back the endless fear that prevents him from sleeping at night. The fear that one day he will wake up and be back in snowdin again. That he will have to go through the same day over and over again until frisk came back from being taken and replaced with a demon that had a thirst for blood (or dust in this case).

Even before all these resets happened the voices were there, sans had no idea when they actually came. Even in the lab him and papyrus were raised in they were there, keeping him up at nights. He really hated those nights, he hated how he could remember every detail of his life (witch admittedly could of been worse but it was quite away from perfect). He thought he was used to it by now and that he wouldn't get himself into a state again... Its not like its anything new right? But now here he is at 1 in the morning, a twenty-something year old skeleton monster pacing around and almost on the brink of hyperventilating or breaking down in sobs, maybe both... He honestly couldn't tell anymore.

At least papyrus was happy though, since coming to the surface he's been the happiest sans has ever seen him, he had even got a car. Sans smiled slightly at that thought. Everybody was happy now at the surface, sure its not perfect. Monsters still don't have half of the rights that humans have, this leads to them being used due to the overly friendly nature of monsters. Some being beaten and raped because of it, but the ambassadors that had joined frisk and papyrus, were doing everything they could to stop it from happening with the help from king Asgore and ex queen toriel.

It seemed like everyone was happy to be on the surface. Everyone but him.

He had found himself in the kitchen, eyeing up the fridge and cupboards that by now was practically taunting him for being so weak and disgusting. He didn't care at this point, as much as he hated to admit it food had always been his escape when having one of these 'breakdowns'. The feeling and taste of something warm and heavy in his stomach (or whatever the fuck it was, hell if he knew) always distracting him from his thoughts, stopping him from going crazy.

He grabbed whatever he could, deciding to just eat his feelings away as his breathing started to calm down. His tears he hadn't noticed falling down his cheekbones. He closed his eyes as he ate, finally able to calm down after what seemed like hours of uncontrollable anxiety and panic. He grabbed what he could from the cupboards and sat down, quietly munching as his breathing went back to normal. The feeling of the food going into his body relaxing, filling the hole that was twisting and eating him alive. The feeling of sadness that replaced his panic slightly subsiding from the foods warmth, the food temporarily distracting him as he ate, the tears slowing down but not stopping completely. not that it mattered, it was pitch black anyway. He sniffed, still shaking but not as badly as he was.

"Sans, is that you... A-are you okay?" He knew that voice from anywhere.

"A-alphys?! ...uh sup?" he said, wiping his eyes and pretending that he was never crying in the first place.

"Are you o-okay sans? You sounded like you were having a panic attack or something." She asked, giving him a surprisingly understanding and sympathetic look.

"Was i really that loud... I'm s-"

"No sans, don't be sorry. You w-weren't loud at all, i just know the signs that's all." She said, sitting down on another chair on the relatively large table. "I've been there enough times... May i? Tonight's been pretty rough." she sighed, reaching to the chips that were on the table.

"Oh yeah go ahead... Are you okay?" Sans asked.

"Been better to be honest... You?"

"Yeah, same."

Alphys sighed, placing a few chips in her mouth before she replied. "Been eating your feelings away?" She asked.

"Would you of guessed?" he chuckled, too exhausted to bother to make puns.

"Probably, i do the same aha" she shrugged. "bad thoughts have been keeping me awake for a while yknow?"

"I know that all too well..." He chuckled.

Alphys smiled at him understandingly.

They stayed like that for a while, sans explaining to Alphys how the timelines worked when he finally told her the truth, Alphys nodding understandingly and admitting that she had always been curious, they even had admitted some of their insecurities to eachother when alphys suggested going into the living room to talk and play video games together.

"mornin nerds, you okay?" Undyne said, walking into the living room a few hours later with a fish shaped mug filled with sugary, scolding hot coffee. She kissed alphys on the cheek and sat next to her.

"y-yea, just had a rough night that's all" alphys said.

"shoulda woke me up, wouldn't of minded you know!" undyne half yelled.

"I-i didn't want you to be tired! Besides, sans w-was up so its okay" Alphys smiled, leaning into undyne.

"if you say so nerd." she smiled, wrapping an arm around Alphys.

Sans sighed contently as he watched the couple do their thing in the corner of his eye.

Maybe he wasn't as alone as he once thought.