The first time I met Marrin, I knew It wouldn't be the last. I meet so many fans every day, but she.. she was different. She cares so much, and not just about me, but with everyone. When she first came in to the room, all I got was a few glances. I had no idea who she was, or how much she would end up meaning to me. I just knew she was a-very pretty-fan of the show. As she got closer to me, I could tell she was having a hard time controlling her emotions. Her eyes were red and there were tears brimming. I didn't understand at the time why she could possibly cry at the sight of me. I mean, I'm just me, right? The line was moving slow, everyone had their own unique ideas for their photos, I was enjoying it. She was last. She walked up to me sobbing.
"Hi, it's okay." I said, trying to reassure her.
I kept my eyes on her as she tried to find words. "Your campaign saved my life." she cried.
"Come over here," I told her, "don't look at anything else, just focus on me. Okay?" I pulled her in to a hug.
This beautiful broken girl, crying in my arms and all I could do was hug her. I couldn't end the pain, I couldn't make her scars disappear. It made me feel helpless.
I pulled back and held on to her arms as I looked at her. "What's your name?"
She was shaking so much, I slid my hands down took her in my own. "Marrin." she responded.
"Marrin. That's a really cool name!" I smile.
She just looked at me before saying, "You kept me alive and you continue to every day."
I tried to keep my smile, but knowing she wanted, and maybe still did want to end her life just made me so sad. I brought my hands up to her face and wiped away a tear. "You're beautiful." I told her, looking in to her eyes. And I meant it. "You can do this. You can beat this." I said. "You have to keep fighting. Okay? Do you understand me? Don't give up."
She nodded, and I nodded back as I pulled her shaking body in to another hug. I felt her bury her face, and just.. relax. I held her tightly and closed my eyes. We stood there for a few minutes before I remembered we had to take the picture. Looking at the camera, I pulled her hair away from her face and smiled. After the picture was taken, I squeezed her tightly and let her go.
Putting my hands on her shoulders, I told her, "Don't forget what I told you, okay Marrin?"
She nodded. "Thank you."
It was a simple sentence, but it had so much more meaning to it. I could tell by the way she looked at me. "No, thank you." I said gently.
I slid my hand down her arm and interlocked our fingers. She started to walk away, but I didn't want it to be the end. My fingertips glazed over hers before she was finally out of arms reach. I watched her walk out.
It was hard to watch her go the first time. But it was nothing compared to this time.
