'I ignored your aura but it grabbed me by the hand , like the moon pulled the tide, and the tide pulled the sand" -talib kweli .
the blissful kiss
this whole time I though the loved me, he really just doesn't give a shit. I only told him I loved him to him feel better, because he had said it first. don't say I love you if you don't mean it, even if its too a friend. those three words can be a cure or a curse. it feels like shit. all these I've been feeling terrible for misleading him but he turned around and the same shit to me. I must admit i was too young to commit to anything like that. that's why i pulled out, why i left. incognito, disappeared, I pretty much erased myself from his memories. well I tried, I came crawling back, well just recently i contacted him. for the first time in 3 years I spoke to him. my first. no I did not lose my virginity to him, he was just my first sweetness. he was just the first guy to make me feel like I'm worth something. he made me feel good about myself. it wasn't sexual, no nothing of the sort. it was just pure and innocent. till I fucked it up, I always fuck it up. well now I know, I'm the problem. now i must find the solution. the painful truth came out, at least it was a sweet lie.
