Sadness

Part One The Main Stuff

      I am waiting to be dropped into the cold dark abyss that is death. Yet death has a warm welcome to it that life cant give. I have made a deal with my friend that there will be no more panic attacks or depression so i cant vent to her anymore. Life may be hard for every one but some have it worse. I cant sleep at night because I love my dreams. My dreams are better then my reality. I feel like if i sleep then i will never want to wake up. So I don't sleep. Some night i lay there looking at the wall thinking how I got this good of friends. I think how I can be good enough for them. Some days I wont talk at school because of my life. I don'l like to share about my life because they would call me an idiot. I have panic attacks but no one believes me and if they do they don't care. I hide behind a smile every day. The one thought I can keep in my mind longer then 30 sec is the fact that one day we will all die and be forgotten. So why does it matter when I die right death will always get the last laugh. Death no matter how hard we try will always get the last laugh. The world has a system. It goes like this: We get born, we live just to die, and we die just so more people can live. Why should we put up with it. But what can we do. The people who try end up dying faster. So what can we do. Nothing that's it. All we can do is sit in front of a T.V. and eat our bacon and popcorn. We are worthless beings. If you don't have depression then keep being happy. I would have killed my self already if it were not for the thought that one day I may be able to be happy. Not even a year ago I would have never thought my life would be the way it is now. Anyway thanks for reading. I hope that my words will inspire you to never end up like me. Because no matter what you think you are loved in some way.

                                                                                                                                 ~Cookiemonster1108