Fictional Reality

Please. Help me.

Ok guys, I'm just gonna start by stating the obvious. Wattpad is amazing.  Wattpad makes it super easy to find a super relatable story that can leave your feels super fucked up.  You can connect with people from every last fandom out there and write some really badass stories.  But sometimes, it becomes too much of a good thing.

Right now, it's 2 in the morning, and my stomach is growling really loud.  The fact that I'm awake and hungry is due to my addiction to Wattpad.

You see, I was so busy reading this amazing fanfic and was so into it, that I literally forgot to eat today. I was so into it that I was in bed almost all day reading that I didn't even realize that it was two in the freaking morning. 

Even on school days, instead of doing homework or chores, I was reading Wattpad.  Even though my mind was screaming at me to do something productive, I was still reading Wattpad. Even though my grades were dropping, due to reading on Wattpad all the time, I continued to read on Wattpad. I get home from school in the evenings, and the first thing I do is read on Wattpad. I don't even start my homework until the next morning because I had been reading Wattpad until God knows when the previous night.  I even started taking my dad's iPod to school with me so I could read on the the long bus ride so I could read Wattpad.  I even went as far as to get permission to use the bathroom so I could sit and read Wattpad. My mom thankfully caught me and threatened to take away all my internet before I stopped taking the iPod to school with me.

Even before I knew of Wattpads existence, I had had a problem with reading, and when I got Wattpad it only got worse.  I would be reading, and all of a sudden, I have to do something else.  And all throughout the time spent doing something other than reading, I would be thinking non stop about what I had been reading and be getting fucking anxiety attacks because it felt like I needed to know what happens.  It is a deep and nagging need to know what happens next, and it doesn't stop, driving me absolutely insane until I finally start reading again.  It's to the point that I can't focus on anything except Wattpad.  Not school, not my instruments, not my art, not my friends, not anything.

At first everything seemed pretty harmless, but I never imagined that Wattpad would cause me to forget about school, homework, chores, friends, my music, my art, eating, or sleeping. I get so lost in all these alternate universes, that I forget about reality.

This is my addiction to Wattpad, and it's getting out of fucking control.  And I hate it.  But at the same time I love Wattpad.  So. Much.  I love to get lost in fanfics and actually being the character, and being in those character's universe.  To feel their love, their pain, their fear, their sadness, their anger.  I love Wattpad.  So fucking much.  And I hate that I love it so much to the point where my reality is being consumed by my fictional worlds I love so much.  I hate that my reality is slowly becoming fictional.