Dead or Alive

Chapter 3: I am right here (2)

So that's how they took my death. My eyes softened a bit and my body relaxed, I let go of a sigh I didn't even know I had been holding. Seeing them worry about me even after I died made me happy, even if in the slightest. As I walked away from them, I realised that even Kadota and his gang had taken my death in a similar manner. How weird... I never thought that my death would affect them so much... I didn't even think that my existence had affected them, ever. As I walk past the crowds of Ikebukuro, I hear many murmurs and talks about my death. The name that could be heard on every lip was "Heiwajima Shizuo". Some relished the fact that I was dead, some seemed confused by the fact that I could even die (of course I could. No matter how much of a monster I was, death comes to all living beings. Just how stupid were these people?!) and some seemed genuinely concerned about what would happen to Ikebukuro now that I was dead, but no matter what anyone said, there were those people who were upset over my death, simply because I was dead, and that was what was important to me. As I made my way Shinra's, I felt content.

Once I reached Shinra's I just decided to slide through the door instead of ringing the doorbell, and, even though I felt like a thief sneaking into a house, I figured it really wouldn't make much of a difference, given the fact that I couldn't really be seen.

After I entered in, I didn't spot anyone so I entered inside one of their rooms, and there they were! Must be their bedroom. Sorry to intrude in like that. I think, slightly embarrassed.

'Celty! Oi, Celty!' I shout, but when I get no response, it becomes obvious she can't see me either. But, I persist either ways. I go to stand in front of her and shout once again, waving my hands in the air, desperately, 'Celty! Hey, it's me, Shizuo! Celty!'

But the only response I get is a PDA in my face that reads: [Do you think he's going to be okay?] "He"? Who's "he"?

'Yeah, he'll be fine!' That was Shinra. I turn around to see him looking directly through me, at the PDA Celty was displaying.

[But... you said that, when you left the room, he had a far-away expression on his face!]

'I did say that, yes. But he's a strong person. He'll get over it all.' Shinra then turns to the side with a scowl on his face and says 'plus, he's probably just rejoicing in the fact that he won, that he outlived the monster.'

Ahh... They were talking about Izaya. And just when I don't want to hear his name. My blood starts to boil again, and I, once again, start seeing red. Celty had said something about Shinra leaving the room in which he was, so the flea's probably here. Even if I was to hit him, he would probably just slip right through me, but nothing mattered right now, because I couldn't even think straight right now, so I just go hunting for Izaya throughout the house.

Turns out, I didn't have to hunt much, because he was in the second room I checked. There, on the bed, sat a raven with, just like Celty said, a far-away look on his face, facing the ceiling. It even made me stop for a second. The expression then changed to a very forlorn one, still with a touch of distance. He seemed to be reminiscing about something, seemed to be regretting something. And then, suddenly, he chuckled. Leave it to Izaya to have such a confusing set expressions, I could feel my anger die down. His face then held the expression of someone who had lost someone very, very important to them; a smile that was not carried to the sad, soft eyes, that looked like they were on the verge of shedding tears. I couldn't look at Izaya when he had that expression on his face. It just didn't seem like him.

With my all anger and motivation now died down, I begun to turn to walk out of the room again, when I hear him whisper 'Shizuo shouldn't have died... I probably deserved to die rather than him...' I stop in my tracks, not being able to turn my head back and look at him. What kind of expression did he wear when he said that? I don't know, because, instead of looking at him, I dash out the room.