Scream

3 months ago

They say you can rarely tell what a person will grow up to be like. Yet, I know exactly what my little sister is going to be, royal. Yea, I do mean royal, a royal pain in my ass. You may think that I am being a little over the top and overboard with this little thought but I mean if you had to out up with what I had to you would be saying a whole lot worse. This time was different. This time she snuck into my room and went through my drawers until she found what she was looking for. How was I suppose to know ? I wasn't home. Of course why would I be home when I run track and am Like some kind of dance choreographer for the cheerleading squad that I hate so much. When I walked through the doors to my house it was quiet....to quiet.
"Ashlynn!!" I could hear my father yell from across the house. This didn't sound good but I told myself that everything would be just fine. Ha! Nothing is ever fine with a yell like that coming out of my father's mouth. I walked into his room and stood beside his large flat screen that took almost a year and a half to pay off. He looked up from his cell phone long enough to look at me and shake his head in disappointment. I couldn't believe it. What had I don't that was so wrong?
" What do you need dad?" I tried to sound innocent. As innocent as a seventeen year old could be. But somehow my words came out tainted and irregular. He motioned for me to come and sit down so I did. His bed seemed lumpy compared to mine but I assume everyone had their preferences. He laid his phone down and just stared at me. I smiled and then let it face as I realized he might be about to give me "the talk". Ugh.
" you know you can tell me anything right?" he started. Man this situation was not looking good. I sat up a little straighter and wiggled around uncomfortably. What the heck was going on?
" Yea, of course dad. I definitely know that. What's going on?" I laughed a little nervously. Maybe hed found out about me and Tony. Oh man, this was going to suck.
"Then why didn't you tell me?" I could almost cut the tension in the air with a knife. My heart began to race and I knew that if I was going to tell him, now would be the time. Before shit got to deep and had to be shoveled up to hit the metaphorical fan.
" okay dad, he asked me. I said yes because he's such a great guy and I just know you're going to like him and please don't judge him by appearances because he's like so perfect and we have so much fun together and I kind of figured that you were going to find out at some point but I really thought that you were going to be walking me down the isle when you Did find out. So please dad don't be mad but you told me at sixteen that if I wanted to date someone I could but I just hadn't found the right guy and I know it's a little sudden but......." dad started shaking his head and laughing. Somehow I got the hint that this wasnt about me and Tony. Something else told me it was about something worse.
I sat there for the longest time Before he finally spoke up.
" you have been smoking....weed?" I looked up at him with a look that would drop a lion dead. Not only hatred but with fear. Hed snooped. That was the one rule of this house was that you never snoop and if you Did it was almost a lawbound rule thAt you didn't say anything about what you saw. But he had, just now. What could have made him want to snoop.
"Dad I swear it's not mine." although I knew these words were lies I somehow hoped that dad would believe me. From behind me came a small chuckle. An all to familiar one according to the way my life had been so far.
I let out a sigh and turned to see my youngest sister, glaring at me from the doorway. I almost instantly knew that dad had not been the one to snoop but instead it was my young sister. Of course , at the age of twelve, Jenny Lee had been a master at ruining my life.
He stared at me. With not so much anger as regret and disappointment. Anger at what I had done. Disappointment at my very life. He didn't speak for the longest time. When he did it was harsh and forced.
"You lied to me. " that was all he said. He didnt speak anymore. He only stared. After a few moments I decided that the conversation ended here. So I began to walk away. Jenny had already gone back to potting her next attack. I was halfway out the door before my father stopped me.
" Ashlynn?" he spoke softly and I thought this would be the makeup.
"Yea dad?" I spoke barely over a whisper. Turning around I seen that his head lay on a pillow 28th one arm behind it. Though he didn't smile or seem like he would crack a joke he looked at me.
"You're mother wouldn't have wanted this. " there it was. There it fucking was. How would he know what my mother would have wanted. My mother was dead. Dead and gone and she didn't choose to go. I stared at him with tears stinging my face. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to tip him in two with my eyes for bringing up my mother against me. He paused, I assume knowing that hed hit a hard spot. Without waiting for any other answer I left. I ran upstairs to my room and taking two steps at a time, slammed open my door.
He didn't care! Nothing mattered to him! I laid down on my bed and half cried, half screamed into my pillow. When I awoke it was around 7 o'clock. I sat up, wiped my face, and swore this would never happen again. I slipped on my sneakers , my running ones to be exact. Then made my way to the front door. I didn't see neither my father nor Jenny on my way out. But I assume they were having father daughter time......or something.