15 Days

15 Days

By Stephanie Demeules

I stare up at the dark sky, it seems so vast , an empty black canvas filled with beautiful glimmering diamonds. I had never noticed how amazing the night sky was until I met you. I wish you were here to see this, maybe you are, staring at your own sky. That's mainly why I look, hoping you are too. The October air fills my lungs, pumpkins cover the field i'm laying in. I feel the warmth from my hat and jacket but my uncovered fingers are a colour they shouldn't be. A deep breath escaped my lungs and I can see the air around me. A deep shiver fills my spine and it makes me wish you were here keeping me warm. I see you with a long jacket and a big scarf that just reaches the bottom of your lips exposing your nose. The scarf would be a charming colour of blue making your eyes glow so bright. Oh what I would pay to see those eyes right now, just thinking about them warms me up. People keep asking me do I love you, whenever they ask me I feel an unfamiliar sting stab my heart. I remember your smile, that brilliant shade of white or when you would turn bright red when I caught you staring. I remember everything even though I vowed to forget, do you not see what you have done to me. I'm sorry, but you left me here all alone. I can still feel you with me, it's like I will walk into chem and you will be sitting right beside the window with the sun reflecting of your porcelain skin. I can never forget October 19th when you wore that green dress. I walked into class and I swear that was the first time I have ever seen what real beauty looks like. You hair was pinned back with little strands falling perfectly to the side. I could tell you had just been outside because your cheeks were a bright shade of red matching the colour of your lipstick. Staring at you in that bed it just didn't feel right, the gown you were wearing was just plain white. I could almost hear you saying how much you hate the colour white, it doesn't fit well with your blond strokes of hair.

I will hold your hand for as long as I can but I keep growing week as you continue to pull. The longer I hold on a piece of my heart cracks but if I ever let go it would shatter. I feel a cold drop on my nose, I open my eyes and look up, I see the sky changed from black to lighter shade, little white specks that look like silver glitter falling from the sky. It's silent, the only sound I can hear is from the dead branches falling from the heavy weight of the snow. I miss you. My love is all I had to give right now, I can't come up with a cure to make you wake up. I can't stop your hands from feeling so cold, I can't stop your body from shaking at night, I can't stop the colour from leaving your lips, I...I just feel so helpless. I have no clue what I am doing right now, but I am losing my mind over you. When i'm not with you I feel like everything isn't real, you made living so beautiful. No matter how much I was hurting on the inside you made me feeling alive. I can't describe the pain running through my body because of how much I miss you. Do you think this is how things are supposed to play out? I don't even know why I am writing this but I feel like you are reading it beside me. I even feel the itch in my nose from when your hair tickled the side.

The idea of you loving me always felt crazy to me, I felt like a weed growing beside a beautiful rose. Your sharp thorns never scared me, even though you would tell me to not get too close. No matter how much time it takes you to wake up I could never imagine our story ending like this. Time has been going by so slowly without you.

I got a haircut, it doesn't cover my eyes anymore. I know how that drove you crazy. Well I guess my hands aren't in the best shape to write anymore so I will spend another night without you beside me. I kinda hope the winter take me so I don't have to spend another minute without you. I love you so very much my angel, but it's time to wake up.