Dogenia

Chapter 1 - The Cleverly Disguised Exposition

In the land of Dogenia, six continents rule. Blaizd, Doreet, Srehk, Memre, Japamerica, and Yoloh. In 2020, a beast was introduced into this world. This was known as the Swag Sucker. It took all the memes and swag from everyone in the world, nearly turning it into a wasteland. However, four heroes rose up to save the day. Their names were Bobert, Ralph, Abigail, and Brian.

Bobert Tennoy is an average guy from Japamerica. He has orange, generally messy hair, and wears a white shirt underneath a filthy jacket. He leads a party of four, consisting of the other "Heroes of Dogenia".

Bobert walked up to the castle's doorway. In front of him were two guards. One had orange hair similar to his own, as well as the guard's crest. The crest was yellow and red, with a spiky design on the front. Most notable about him, though, was the scarf around his neck. Standing next to who Bobert decided to nickname Scarfy, was Baldy, whose head was bald as an egg. His eyebrows were notably blue, and he was dressed up in red and yellow armor, the royal colors of Dogenia.

"Hello, guards," Bobert greeted the guards with enthusiasm.

"What is your business here?" Baldy stood straighter than a tree in a storm with winds going every direction.

"I wish to enter Castle Dogenia and speak with the King of Everything," Bobert bowed to the guards, explaining his wishes.

"The King does not allow access right now," Scarfy instinctively reached to the sword strapped around his waist, prepared for a battle.

"Why not?" Bobert said, eyeing the sheath dangerously close to Scarfy's hand.

"He doesn't like people with orange or blue hair," Baldy's eyes narrowed.

"That's a really dumb reason," Bobert shrugged, taking note of Scarfy's orange hair.

"Slander! Leave at once!" Scarfy drew his sword, ready for a fight.

"You let us through or you'll regret it," Brian stepped forward, taking a playing card out of his pocket.

"Brian!" Bobert turned to his companion angrily.

"Now you've resorted to threats!" Baldy shouted, pulling out a playing card of his own.

Bobert shrugged.

"Well, if we're gonna fight, might as well enjoy it," He said, drawing his trusty katana, which he called the Glowy Murder SwordTM. They charged at each other, weapons drawn.

"En guarde!" Scarfy shouted, drawing his own Glowy Murder SwordTM. Bobert grinned at this, and shouted a battle cry of his own.

"Are you ready to get rekt?" Bobert shouted. It wasn't as awesome as Scarfy's cry, but it was pretty cool.

Scarfy started the fight by leaping at Bobert, but he expertly dodged and swiped back. The Glowy Murder SwordTM cut right through him, but because we have to keep this story rated E10, there were no special effects, just the number 0 popping up on him. Scarfy jumped over Bobert, swinging his sword, but Bobert ducked and thrust his sword upwards. This continued 7 more times before Scarfy got bored and leapt back. Bobert jumped forward and swung his sword at Scarfy, but the attack was easily avoided since, y'know, it's a thin thing going down. Next up was Ralph, Bobert's loyal blue-haired companion. He grabbed the candle hooked onto his belt's loop, and ran up to Baldy. He swung the candle at Baldy's shiny forehead, leaving behind not even a scratch.

The padlock hanging around Ralph's candle finally caught up, using the force of gravity to hit Baldy's face. Ralph jumped back before Baldy could hit him, only to get kicked into the air by his enthusiastic, ponytailed teammate, Abigail. Abigail unsheathed the dagger hanging around her waist. It was made of a unicorn's horn, and shone in the sunlight. Abigail swung the small blade at Scarfy, who expertly dodged and swung his own blade, which was easily dodgeable. Abigail jumped back, and sheathed her dagger. Brian sprinted past her, leaving a gust of wind that took a second to catch up. The card in his hands flew into the sky and out of his grip, but it started glowing as skulls started to rain down on the enemy. They were pretty big, and most of them hit their targets, but Baldy was just as fast as Brian was and rolled out of the way of the last one.

Baldy tossed his card into the air as several icicles fell from the sky, creating convenient circles around him and Scarfy. They pummeled Bobert's party, leaving them on the ground, unconscious.

The icicles dissipated, and Baldy walked up to Scarfy.

"You do realize this is gonna screw up the timeline even more than it was before, right?" Baldy narrowed his eyes.

"Oh," Scarfy drew his sword and shoved the blade into the ground just as a massive earthquake started. The castle behind them nearly crumbled as time itself started to blend into nothing but a smoothie of events. It was strawberry flavored.

Scarfy grabbed Baldy's arm, and looked for a way out. The tornado of time around them ripped open a few holes in space. One of them led into a spaghetti palace. The other led into a dimension made up entirely of sandwiches. Scarfy finally found one spot he could go into, and tossed Baldy in, before picking up the unconscious bodies of Bobert and co. and leaping into the tear in time.

"...Why are we back here?" Scarfy looked around, taking in the details of the house they were in.