The Self Harming Sugg - A YouTuber FanFiction *TRIGGER WARNING*

It's to hard. Falling in Love

It's hard. Life is to hard. I walk upstairs. Cuts on show. I will be proud of who I am around Caspar and Joe. I will be proud around everyone but Alfie, Louise, Zoe, Mum and Dad. I am not normally proud of it but these people need to know. Oh I wont show them around Mark either. Air. It's the only thing to keep me alive. Joe was singing that song in the shower. I laugh at him and shout

'JOE NICE SINGING!' He stops singing straight away. He keeps trying to fix me up but I'm not broken.  I never will be broken. The only time ever was broken he fixed me. I can't be broken around him. I walk upstairs and start making breakfast when Caspar comes to join me.

'Caspar. Are you sure you can cook?' I ask questioning him

'Eh, I can cook pizza. Should we have Pizza for breakfast?' I laugh and say

'You can help me flip the pancakes Caspar.' He sighs and laughs afterwards

'Okay. Chef of the year.' He salutes and I burst out laughing then remember the panacakes.

'Cas--par th-e Pana-Cakes!' I exclaim throughout laughs. He runs to the panacakes and flips them. We had 5 in the pan. One of them let's loose and lands on Caspar's head. I just keep laughing. Even more. He stops and rubs his hands in his hair. I stand up and get myself sorted out. So I try and stop laughing.

'Caspar. That's gonna make it worse. Go take a shower. I CAN DEAL WITH PANACAKES!' He laughs and runs downstairs.

'CASPAR!' Joe shouts as he walks upstairs with pancake covered top. Caspar trailing behind. I laugh at the state of them and put the remaining pancakes on plates. I drizzle chocolate sauce on Caspar's. Strawberry Sauce on Joe's and Chocolate on mine. Me and Caspar always have chocolate and Strawberries and Joe always has Blueberry and Strawberry. I put out the plates and the boys eyes widen and they eat. I laugh and eat my own. When I have finished and Caspar has half of his left I say to him.

'Caspar. Race you to the shower!' I jumpout my seat and run the the shower. I turn it on and get out of my clothes. I lock the door and chuckle and jump in the shower. Seconds later an angry Caspar bangs on the door.

'JOE GET OUT MY SHOWER!' I laugh at his comment and shout

'NO CASPAR! USE MINE!' I then get out and text Joe to run to his shower and pretend to be me in there. Don't forget to lock the door. I then hear him run into his bathroom. Chuckling I get dressed. Caspar comes back and shouts

'JOE! YOUR SISTER IS USING THE OTHER SHOWER! LET ME IN MATE'

'NOPE' I shout back

'UGH I HATE YOU SUGGS'

'I HATE THE LEE'S' wait that's not a joe comment.

'THAT'S NOT A JOE COMMENT. HE WOULD SAY YOU LOVE ME REALLY!'

'OKAY. I JUST WANTED TO BE MEAN CASPAR!'

'YEAH YEAH KAEDON. GET OUT!'

'UGH' I walk out and there stands and angry caspar

'Sorry Caspar. Your shower is great by the way.'

'I hate you SUGG!'

'You love me really' Joe says from out of the blue

'Ugh I hate you 2'

'No you only love Zoe!' We say in unision.

'Right that's it Suggs' I look at Joe and he looks at me. Caspar throws himself at us and we step to the side. He face plants the floor and we burst into laughter. He gets up and says.

'YOU GUYS' In that south African voice. I remember the day we met.

**Flashback**

'CASPAR!' Joe screams through the new house with a very loud voice. Typical Joe.