Meme universe

Chappie 1: An Expected Journey

              It was a dank and musty evening in Memeville, the town where all the most famous memes resided. Shrek awoke to the sound of loud farts and screaming. "Ah, what a lovely mornin'!" he said, even though it was already 4:20 in the evening. He slowly climbed out of his flea-ridden bed and yawned so loud and hard the ground shook and caused a minor earthquake. He heard a knock at the door. "I'm a-coming." he said sleepily. He opened the wooden door and saw the mailman Pepe the frog. "Hello, Pepe! Anything for me today?" Shrek asked cheerfully as he smiled, his teeth full of cavities, holes, and worms for some reason. Pepe grimaced as he saw the ogre's teeth but remained polite. "uh, no, sorry Shrek old pal old buddy old friend." Shrek frowned. "Well, I do have these bills from like 3587435867856.757 months ago, but you probably don't have the money to pay for them, do you?" asked Pepe. Shrek grinned. "Nope!" he said, and slammed the door in the frog's face. He strolled ogre (Note: in this story, 'ogre' will replace the word 'over' and there will be many more Shrek puns, so just be aware of that.) to his kitchen. He grabbed a rat that happened to be crawling around on his floor and put it in his musty microwave that was covered in moss. He put it in for 4 minutes and 20 seconds. While he waited for his meal to finish cooking, he grabbed the newspaper from 3 days ago and started reading. The title on the front page said 'New Mayor of Memeville'. Shrek was surprised and took a spit-take. But since there was nothing in his mouth he just spit out a bunch of his slimy saliva all ogre the newspaper. He shot up from his seat. He had to find out who this new mayor was. Then Shrek heard a loud squeal and a POP from the microwave. He smiled. "Food's ready!" he said to himself.

                  Shrek walked out of his house, large chunks of rat sticking between his teeth. He reached into his pocket looking for his car keys. But then he remembered he didn't have a car and farted in frustration. But the fart was a little too wet and he got a little suspicious. He pulled down his pants and took a peek at his undies. Sure enough, there was a large brown stain in the butt area. However, the stain looked quite old. Shrek frowned and ripped off his underwear and pulled his pants back up. He was going commando. He tossed the dirty underwear at an old lady passing by. The woman screamed in surprise but also in a bit of delight because no man had thrown underwear at her since '69. "'Scuse me." Shrek said has he pushed past her, scratching his booty. "Hey! Do you even know who I am?" the lady asked furiously, whacking Shrek with her purse. "No and I don't care." Shrek replied. "Why, I'm the grandma who looks at her computer curiously while adjusting my glasses!" she said. 

Shrek grunted. "You're a minor meme. Get out of my swamp or I'll tear you in half, starting at your cheeks." he said. The old lady covered her face. "You'll never get my cheeks!" Shrek laughed. "I'm not talking about those cheeks, I mean THOSE cheeks." He said, raising an eyebrow. The old woman screamed and ran off into the swamp. Shrek mumbled to himself about kids these days and kept walking towards downtown Memeville.

              Shrek was at the swamp limits. A poorly painted sign read "Now leaving the swamp. Don't come back!" Shrek smiled at his work and kept walking. He was now closer to his destination, but his legs were getting really tired. He whipped out his oPhone from his pocket (Ogre phone) and shrecked (checked) where he was. A voice read out to him: 'You are 69 miles from your destination.' Shrek groaned, partly because he didn't want to walk anymore but partly because he was feeling antsy. He eventually reached a few anthills as he was walking. In his frustration, he started kicking the ant piles. "Ha! Take that you inferior beings!" But then one of the anthills he kicked didn't collapse. in fact, it was quite solid. He heard an "Ow!" and then realized he hit a human head. Shrek jumped like fifty feet in the air becuase he was so surprised. Then the head slowly looked up at Shrek, and that's when he realized it was...