Some people may call Tara mentally unstable or disturbed. Others may call her a psychopath and a monster. But do you know what her definition of herself is? Mentally artistic.
Now such a girl with her tendencies is a dangerous thing. It can lead to dark fantasies and twisted dreams and urges to do things that our modern society would call insane.
But what is more insane. Tara's disturbing actions or the structure of a modern society that is solely based of judgement and lies.
The irony.
Many people have outlined Tara's behaviour as sick and outrageous. They just can't relate to a highly mentally sophisticated girl showing her intellectual talents in unusual ways.
It all started three months ago. Tara lived in the suburbs of Manhattan in a neighbourhood with little crime among it.
The neighbourhood was filled with the cliché's of the nicely trimmed hedges, flower gardens and white picket fences. Just the silhouette in the world we are existing in. trying to erase the blatant flaws of modern democracy.
But no one can escape from their flaws. They will always creep up on you. No matter how much makeup you apply to your face your social insecurity is still there. No matter how much money you bring home it still does not hide the struggling marriage within. No matter how many times you purge your food after a meal in order to look skinny it does not take away your self-esteem issues.
See flaws are inerasable. Even when you can't see them they still exist somewhere inside you and no matter how many times you try to deny them deep down you know they are there and they are real. very real.
Tara lived in one of these houses. She seemed fine on the outside. Nothing weird about her or anything clearly out of the ordinary.
And yet she was the most messed up person on the block.
She had chestnut brown eyes, long black hair, thin lips, a cute button nose, a slightly tanned appearance and a tall and petite figure.
She worked in an office in the city and was paid fairly as she was a hardworking employee.
Her house was pristine and she had a healthy diet. She went to the gym every day and was defined as "gorgeous" by everyone else's high standards.
Although she was single she had a healthy social life and plenty of friends. Her family just adored her.
And probably the most evident of all she was highly intelligent. Her IQ was 147 and she studied at Oxford University. People would joke to her that she was so intelligent that she could "commit a murder and get away with it".
And yet underneath the perfection of her life there was her hidden flaws.
She works hard to keep her house clean. The pressure of being judged by the other neighbours really affected her wellbeing.
At work she is often looked at nicely and yet her boss tries to hit on her and the other employees harass her because she's single and they are lonely.
She often felt like she always needed to be healthy so she grabs anything with the words "organic or "low fat" or "skim" because she feels accomplished by forcing herself to be the healthy figure she always aspired to be.
She exhausts herself at the gym each day because she feels like with each calorie burnt off she is being less and less judged by society and the people in her street.
Whenever people call her "gorgeous" she tries hard to fix herself even more and increase her beauty because she wants to live up to everyone else's standards even though they don't fit with her own moral ethics and principles because she would rather be a follower and not stand out or be criticised for not complying to peoples standards.
She was single and although she didn't show it. She felt lonely. She would wonder who was out there for a 24 year old girl living in Manhattan and even though she knew she had her whole life ahead of her and that she had plenty of time to find someone for her and that she was still young and beautiful and capable with every day that ticks by the hole in her heart only grew.
Her social life was only active so she could get away from the pressures of everyday life. A chance to smile perhaps or a chance to forget. And yet if she had a choice to stay at home to relieve the pain she would take it in an instant. She felt like the only way to be fulfilled emotionally was to go out and forget her life once a fortnight.
Her friends were not actually her friends in her eyes. All they knew was the Tara that was showcased for them. They only knew the perfections and qualities and not the actual person within. And Tara knew that her friends only liked her for the fake Tara that she plastered for the world to see. They would not associate with her if they knew her personally.
Her family always thought Tara was just a perfect, sweet and innocent girl who had no issues in life. They thought she was just wonderful because they didn't know the person within. Although her family cared about her they would disapprove of the real Tara that was among them.
And with her intelligence. Well it has always plagued her mentally. With her feeling like an outcast because no one understood the true meaning of her intelligence. And with her illness she would use the money she brought home on various counselling and therapy appointments that were supposed to supress her mental illness and tell her how to think and feel. Hidden inside her bathroom drawers are prescription drugs and medication to try and sustain this lie of a perfect life.
Was it all worth it just to sustain a healthy appearance in today's confusing society?
And the answer in Tara's mind was yes.
