Operation Biblio

Part 1 "Fear of the Night"

After soaring in circles for almost an hour, Elias finally alit on the correct roof. The bright lights of the city below made the tops of the buildings appear as black silhouettes stamped across the ground, and the faint pinpricks in the sky could barely in Elias's opinion be called stars. Unlike the wilderness he had flown over to get here, the streets seem to be filled with people no matter the time of day. Hiding himself in the cloud cover, combined with the poor lighting, had made finding his roof much more complicated than expected. Still, he found it, and it was with considerable relief that he finally folded his wings across his back.

Elias sat on the edge of the roof with his legs dangling over the sides. The roof was still slick with rain from that afternoon, but Elias was already damp from flying through clouds for an hour. He supposed sitting here put him in danger of a fall -- not that Elias cared, but he'd be in serious trouble if an angel was spotted in New York City.

He could move back from the edge, he supposed, but easier simply not to fall.

Elias gazed up at the sky, which was dull and gray and easily his least favorite part of the city. If he stared at it long enough, he could imagine that his gaze pierced through the flatness and the clouds and the smog. His eyes could see all the way to his home, through his walls into his room and to all the dreams that dwelled there.

Elias shivered. At least when he was flying, the dreams weren't there.

In fact, Elias had been so caught up in exploring the city that he had entirely forgotten the dreams, but the moment he cast his eyes skyward they began to trickle back. He almost stood, but changed his mind and let his muscles relax. Easier to let it happen. Better to let it happen . . . .

Elias closed his eyes, but it felt like he was opening them. He could see the dreams dancing around him, beckoning to him, soaring above him with the ease with which Elias had soared there mere moments before. He sent most of them off among the city with a flick of his fingers, but thousands more swirled around him in a cloud thicker than the smog above. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

Elias turned his head without opening his eyes, knowing that if he did he would see only empty air. Instead he kept his eyelids firmly shut and watched the blond man sitting next to him without surprise.

"Hello, Michael," he said without making a sound.

Michael smiled at him. "Hey," he said, and Elias swore he could hear the vibrations in his ear.

"It's you today again."

"You need me."

"I suppose I do."

Elias opened his eyes and gazed resolutely forward, watching the lights of the city dance while keeping the feeling of Michael's hand on his shoulder. If he didn't look at him, he was almost really there.

"I came here to get away from you, you know," said Elias after a while.

"I know."

Elias squeezed his eyes shut and turned to face Michael again. "So why are you here?"

"You wanted me here."

Elias leaned his head onto his own shoulder, and if he didn't look, he could still feel Michael's hand sitting there. "I know," he said miserably.

"It's all right," said Michael. "There's nothing wrong with needing us."

"I don't want to need you."

"We've got your best interests at heart, Elias. We'll do anything you need us to do."

"Leave, then."

"I'll do whatever you like, Elias, but you can't blame me for coming when you want me."

Elias gritted his teeth. "I know."

"Stay in the city. It'll keep you in the moment."

"I'm just spouting advice to myself from your mouth."

"That doesn't mean you can't follow it."

"I know."

Elias saw other dreams he recognized, but he refused to let them coalesce, content with leaving them as indistinct forms swirling above his head. He could talk to them another time. Or not at all, he tried to insist to himself, but he knew that one day he would feel weak and call them back again. A tear leaked down his cheek.

"I can stay as long as you like," said Michael.

"That's forever," said Elias.

Michael shook his head. "You'll feel better eventually."

"I suppose so."

He tried once more to stand on the damp concrete, but lacked the resolve to shake off Michael's grip. "So how are you?" Elias asked, resigning himself to his fate for now.

"Never better," said Michael, and Elias smiled in spite of himself and leaned over to kiss him.

If he didn't look at him, he could almost really feel it.