Oh, Marcel!

Playing Tour Guide

"So, erm, this is the, uh, Biology L-lab." I stutter to Ember as she trails behind me.

There isn't anyone in this hallway, so I talk a little louder. I'm feeling braver.

"Oh." Ember says, clearly not amused. She's looking down at her phone.

"E-eh-Ember?" I stutter again and she looks up from her phone.

"Huh? Oh sorry, just my old friends. I just miss them so much. It really sucks to come to a new school and not have any friends." She says and shakes her head, her blond hair shining. "You probably have no idea what it feels like."

"Actually I do." I mumble and then continue down the hallway. I hear her flip flops slapping on the floor as she jogs to catch up with me.

"Marcel! Wait up for me!" She says out of breath when I pause and wait for her.

Do I really walk that fast? It wasn't like Ember was out of shape either. She had a nice body, toned.

Oh, Marcel! What are you doing! Stop thinking about her like that! She would never be with you. I swallowed hard.

"Uh, okay so up here on the left is where your Algebra classroom is at." I say without stuttering.

Hey, Marcel its working! Keep putting yourself down!

Wait, what am I thinking? Why am I telling myself that?

"Marcel?" Ember says looking concerned.

"I'm fine." I say realizing that I must look crazy as a battle rages on in my head.

I adjust my sweater vest and then my glasses that liked to droop on my nose.

"So Ember this completes t-the tour. I'll see you around." I say turning around to walk back the way we came.  I feel bad because I know she will never remember what I said or where her next classes are, but I'm ready to get back to being alone with my thoughts.

"Marcel wait!" Ember says again running to catch up with me. "Do you think that I could have lunch with you? Just for today, if you really don't want me to sit with you and your friends."

"What friends?" I say too quickly, but correct myself. "I mean, sure you can sit with me. Meet me by the water fountain in the lunch hallway."

I continue to walk down the hallway, leaving Ember standing in the middle, dazed.

Seriously, what am I thinking? This was the most I've talk to a girl in my life. No one ever wants to talk to loser Marcel. I shouldn't be talking to her. She wasn't good for me.

I could feel my heart pound when I let my mind think of the possiblitiles. A new friend? Maybe she'll be my girlfriend. Maybe I won't die a virgin.

Wait Marcel, you're doing it again. You're setting yourself up for failure. Ever since preschool, you've had no friends.

What makes you think you'll get one now?

I shook my head. The voices annoying me.

Why do I doubt myself?