Gerard gritted his teeth as he approached the ebony, looming door to Frank's apartment. He'd waited so long to do this...It was only a few words, he had to do this, and if he's rejected, so what? Frank probably wouldn't think he was serious anyway...if he were asking in basically any other social situation at all.
Already exhausted from the mental marathon to Frank's doorstep, Gerard leaned up against the door, face fully smushed against the apathetically cold wood.
"I hate myself so much...," Gerard shuddered out, the feeling of loathing and gloom tugging at his heart. He couldn't handle this, for so many reasons. But he had to hear it, had to hear those words from Frank's lips, so he could stumble over this...and forget.
Finally...keeping tears at bay, Gerard readied himself in a mock confident stance and knocked a familiar rhythm on the door.
In mere moments, Frank answered with a gorgeous, oblivious smile.
"Hey, Gee, what's up?"
Frank stepped aside for the older man to enter the apartment, but Gerard didn't move.
"Gee...?"
Gerard sighed, "Frank...I have something to ask you..."
Bewildered, Frank simply tilted his head to the side and waited for Gerard to continue.
"Frankie, listen...I know I don't really mean this much to you, and you're with Jamia, and you're straight, but...I have to be honest, I can't go on without at least giving you these few pathetic words I've got left...I've lost myself in a labyrinth of admiration for you, and I want to be the love that keeps such an energetic, passionate spark in your eye...But I know it's not going to happen with you, not now at least...So I...I wanted to know if you would make a pact with me...? Maybe, if we're not married in a couple years, we can try to be something more...? You've been my best friend forever..."
Stunned, Frank stood, petrified by Gerard's spiel. For what dragged on like hours, both men stood there, one with his head hung low, and the other marvelling at how emotional he had become in those few minutes...he so wore he saw glimmers fall from Gerard's eyes in those moments...
"Gee..."
Gerard winced at the sweet name, but his eyes flew to Frank's call anyway.
"Of course I would make that pact with you..."
For the first minute after those words, Gerard had no idea how to feel, his heart was everywhere and he had just heard the opposite of what he'd so prepared himself to hear. Frank took notice however, and stepped into Gerard, embracing his stock-still body in the only way he knew the older man would be convinced of his agreement.
"Romance or no, I'll always be here for you, Gee..."
Gerard merely nodded at his friend's promise and slumped weakly against him. Thankfully, Frank understood, and lead Gerard inside so they could sleep in each other's soothing warmth for the night.
