I'm starting to wonder about her, and myself. She's such a mystery to me. I could never figure her out, and probably never will. Bipolar? I think not! She's just, different then most of us. Maybe that was a good thing because our society needs change, but is she the change we need?
She's was quiet, unlike most of the hormone filled teenagers at school. Never exited for anything, or maybe just scared to show it. She wasn't a loner or at the bottom of any Pyramid, and yet she despised almost every person at our school. Even me! I hadn't done anything that I could think of that made me end up on her list of pray yet. She puzzled me. Sometimes she showed affection for me, while other times turned me away like she was hiding something. Maybe hiding a side of her that she didn't want me to see. A side of her that was kind, caring, and beautiful! I didn't really give attention to the rude side of her though.
The verbal abuse was easy to take. I didn't think she meant any of it anyways! She always spoke her opinion on things. Whether it was rude or simply harsh, she didn't seem to mind! Talking about people was her only amusement. She enjoyed it, and I could tell. She lived off of criticism. Ranting about every little thing. Sometimes I wondered what could have happened to someone to make them that hatful, but I never really could find the answer.
Why was I always thinking about her if she was so cruel to me? I hadn't figured that out yet either. For some odd reason, I waited for every text she sent, every word she said, everything she did. Was I becoming a stalker or was it something else? I had too many questions. Too many to handle! What was so special about her? If only I knew...
Sometimes, the only thing I looked forward to at school was seeing her! I couldn't answer why, but maybe it was to hear her say something rude to me, or just to see her angry face. Whatever it was, I didn't have an explanation. It seemed normal when she swore at me. Almost as if I needed to hear it everyday for things to feel normal! What was wrong with me? Why was I so obsessed with this girl?
She always tried her best to push everyone away including me, but I wouldn't budge! I knew that it felt like a chore for her when she tried to be nice to me. No matter what I did she still wouldn't give up the fight! There was no sign of her putting her guard down. Even a simple high five was too much to ask for! Was it worth it? Continuously trying to befriend her, and for what?
Not a day went by when I didn't think about her... But why.
