Letters To My Love

Letters to my love.

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13th February 2016

Letter no. #36

Hey Julian,

Its Anastasia, again. With yet another letter. I don't know why I write these letters; it's not like you actually read them. Though that could change if I actually sent them. I honestly don't know why I actually write these, I guess I'm just too afraid to let go. I tried and I tried and I tried but it's of no use. Memories of our good times grip on to my every breath; haunting me every second of my life. Unwavering sorrow has taken over my soul, but I don't dare let that crumble me; I know that's not what you would want. I know you love me, and I love you too. So, so much. It hurts.

But hey, that's what love is, right? There's good times and there's bad times. But, you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.

And I know that you don't love her, and I know that you don't want to marry her, and I know that you're only doing it because it's what your parent's want. And I get that. Really, I do. And I'm not mad, I'm not. I'm happy! I'm happy that I'm in love with a guy who respects his parent's wishes so much. And I love that. And I hate that I love that. Because I can't have you. You'll never be mine. And I hate myself because I just can't let it go. I can't let you go.

But no. I won't give up. I won't give up hope. And I know that I'm crazy and delusional and selfish. But I want you, and I'm prepared to wait for you. No matter how long it takes. Because I loved you then, and I love you now. And I'll love you forever and always.

Sincerely, Anastasia.

A tear falls down my face; taunting me with it's presence. I take the sleeve of my woolen jumper, and wipe it away furiously.

No. I will not cry. I won't. Nothing has ended yet. It's not over.

Just like the other 35 letters, I take this one, and carefully place it in the back of my drawer.

Hope is all I need.

I flicker through the pictures on my phone; landing on one of him. His beautiful green orbs burn into my soul; tainting my heart. His chocolate brown hair styled into a gorgeous quiff; adding to his effect. To say he looks dapper is an understatement.

He looks spectacular.

Oh how I long to be in those arms again. How I long to feel the taste of his lips against mine.

That longing is all I require.

But, like I said, it isn't over yet. I still have hope. A tiny ray it may be, but it's there. And that is all I need.

I love him. And he loves me. If our love is true. If our longing is there. If we have hope. Then we will be together. We will become one. And I will wait for that day. I will wait forever. An eternal love like ours is worth waiting forever for.

The future is unwritten. If destiny grants us permission.

We will. We just will.

Ill be his, and he'll be mine.

And nobody will be able to ruin that.

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Short and sweet. Thanks for reading!

Matchy :) :) :)