The Legends of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 3)

(7) Better the Devil You Owe

“I didn’t know they were going to attack.” Wanda hisses through her teeth at me, trying to keep her facial expression politely free from the anger my words are inevitably causing. I should be the better Woman and not add torment onto this, but come on. We all know I don’t play that nice.

“Really? You didn’t at all suspect that a Hound Head and her team of Blood Hounds wouldn’t immediately go on the offensive the moment you walked me, all unsuspecting, through the door?” my tone is so scathing even I want to flinch at it. “So either you’re complicit in their plans or too stupid to survive without hands on supervision. I didn’t take you for a complete moron. My mistake.”

Wanna know what happens when you push a well born Lady a little too far past her tolerance? They become unhappy with you. But unlike someone basically straightforward like me, where my unhappiness directly translates into brutality and snark, Wanda’s morphed into cloying, painfully correct politeness.

“Unlike some who can just flit off whenever the call of adventure rings them up, I happen to be part of an established Family. There are certain expectations of civility I do not expect others to comprehend and one of those expectations is a certain agreeableness with those in authority. So yes, my Family invited Persephone in with her Hounds and even offered them tea while they waited your arrival. I was indeed sent to collect you, upon hearing of your immediate incarceration. But I did not anticipate an aggressive assault upon your entrance into my home. If I had, I would have worn attire more appropriate to being flung on the ground during a potential fire fight in my own home.” Wanda’s spine was so straight as she bit her words off that I listened for her bones creaking.

“Please don’t throw down while we’re in public Ladies. We’re attracting enough attention as it is, and I think that everyone would be all too willing to call the Hounds right back over to add to the chaos.” Dandy interjected from a few steps back. The man was smart enough to stay out of arms’ length at least.  Hell, he’d even avoided the immediate danger zone around my Rorick.

“Hell, please don’t throw down while I’m not around to watch and eat popcorn. I’m paying up in here and hobbling my tight ass back to the ship. I want to watch this in person as it goes down.” Van chirped in my ear through the com. I could feel Rorick wince at how psychotically cheery she sounded. Still, I’d take creepy happy over the sex noises we’d endured earlier.

But of course, I am not one to sit idly by and get polited at in one ear and bossed around in the other. Or you know, walk along towards my ship and take shit from anyone. So my smart mouth immediately spewed out. “Your inability to keep your legs closed seems to have transformed your crabs into crotch crickets. I’d hate to see what keeping your mouth open will give you next.” What’s sad is that I’m not sure who I was aiming that insult at either. Van just laughs at me, having heard far more putrid and virulent insults aimed at her, her anatomy and her sexual proclivities from me but I think I broke Wanda.

She stopped walking and I think she wants me to stop as well, turn and face her and go through the motions of giving a damn. But instead I just walk on. Yes I want her on my ship and actually will likely need a Doctor who wants me to at least survive my next bout of getting filled with holes, but at the same time I have been needing to shake her out of her tree just a little. If she is going to survive space life on my ship, the poor little baby is going to have to cut her teeth sometime. And I’m pretty good at cutting things if I do say so myself.

“Keep up. This next part is not something you or Dandy will want to miss out on. Hate me all you want, spit at me if you really have to but don’t fall behind. Then you get left behind. And that way leads to disappointment and sadness on your part.” I call over my shoulder, knowing that Dandy has stopped with Wanda but Rorick is keeping pace with me.

“So I see you’ve moved past your blind hatred of her then.” Rorick’s deep voice growls out in a low pitch, just audible to my hearing. I’ve been close to a few too many explosions and engine backfires. And gun shots. And taken a few beatings to the head to boot. All of which have combined to wreck my hearing a little.

“Yep. This is me being friendly. Hell, I’m down right cordial right now.” I offer with a shrug.

“This will help ease the new members onto the ship.” Rorick retorted with a huff of irritation. Just because we’re lovers doesn’t mean he exactly agrees with everything I do. Which is a good thing. ONE of us has to be intelligent and it’s certainly not going to be me every time.

“Slicker ‘n snot on a screen door.” I replied.

“What new members?” Van queries in my ear and I can feel Rorick groan as a note of whining creeps into her voice. Goddess this was going to be headache inducing for the next while.

“Van, ass back to ship. You get to figure out what the latest job is while I do some Captain-y work on Destiny. Playtime is over.” I counter, letting her start to figure it out for herself.

“Balls. This is complete and utter balls.” Van whines back.

“Who are you talking to?” Dandy pants a little as he hurries Wanda along to catch up to us. I’d half expected them to storm off in a huff after my words earlier but it seems that the stunning allure of me has continued to keep people following along. Which is weird because I have no clue what it is they expect from me.

I raise a hand to pinch at the bridge of my nose as a headache starts to form. I kept the crew on Destiny small because I could stand Rorick and Van. And I needed them, they needed me and we all meshed. Bringing Wanda on as Doctor was going to cause waves and adjustment pains, especially with Dandy along for the ride but dammit, there wasn’t a better choice kicking around in the cavern of my brain so this was going to be one head ache of many I suspect.