First Crush

{One}{Leo}

I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of falling off a cliff when I'm 23. I'm afraid of huge daddy-long-leg spiders. I'm afraid of eating peanut butter with no one around and missing my epi-pen. I'm afraid of becoming blind. I'm afraid of becoming deaf. I'm afraid of losing. I'm afraid of losing my passion of singing and writing. I'm afraid of falling in love and not falling in love. But most of all, I'm afraid of talking to my crush, Jessica Peters.

She moved here in the first grade, and ever since we'd always lived right across the street from each other. But I'd never had the courage to speak one word other than "hi". She was just so gorgeous. Every time I saw her it was as if the sky got brighter. And her smile. Her smile was the kindest, most contagious smile ever.

She had long, light brown hair, with golden highlights here and there. Her eyes, a deep goldish brownish green. It depended on where the sun hit her irises. I felt as if here, in my house, staring out the window, waiting for her to walk out and smile, like we almost had a connection.

But at school, it was a totally different story. It was as if, at school, I was invisible to her. I'd walk in the hallways and stare at her, willing for her to look my way, only to get her laughing at one of her best friend's jokes.

She always had fit in. Ever since she came. She was different. A good different. And eventually, people started following the things that she did and everyone wanted to basically be her. I mean, who wouldn't want to be Jess?

She's been here for exactly 3,285 days, and she's only said "hi" to me 372 times/3,285. That's 2,913 times she's passed me in the hallway, or walked down her driveway, and not even glanced in my direction.

At least I had those 372 times though. It's better than nothing I guess.

PPPPPRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!! PPPPPRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!! Oh yay, there's the bell telling me that I have 3 minutes to get to science class or I'll have to stay after school and sit with the creepy algebra teacher while anxiously staring at the clock.

I walked down the hallway, glancing up at every whisper. I held my head low, trying not to get noticed. And that's when I heard her giggle. It was like a newborn baby's first steps. It was so wondrous, so amazing, so light. It was Jessica Peter's laugh.

I glanced up, a smile on my face, and for only a second, (a second!), she glanced down and our eyes met.

That was the day when I knew that me and Jess were meant to be.

↓↓↓

"Hi students today. You will be here until 4:30 p.m. Notify your parents," he glanced over at Denny, "or social workers about pickup at that time. 5 minutes after the designated pickup time will not be tolerated. Nor one hour afterwards," he glared down at me, " you are all here for reasons against the school policy. Some for being late to certain classes," he stared down the bridge of his nose at me, trying to make me crack, "some for language issues," we all turned our heads to punk, Josh, in the very back of the room, "and many many other reasons. You will not talk to me nor anyone else in this classroom. You will be completely silent and work on your homework. I will be coming around with the phone basket so that none of you will be using your phone. As you know, it's against school policy," Lisa, sitting on twitter, glanced up, "to use your phone during the school hours AND during detention. Consider this your study hall. Yes, I am going to be nice and give you this time to work on homework and studying. Absolutely quietly. Understand?" Murmurs around the room answered the question.

He came around with the wicker basket, a hop in his step at the plunk of every phone in the basket. He seemed to enjoy torturing us. I didn't mind it though. I didn't really use my phone at all much. Usually just to play Candy Crush or watch Teen Wolf on Netflix. After I dropped my 5s in the basket, I went back to anxiously staring at the ticking clock, all the while thinking about her beautiful smile, laugh, and the way our eyes met at the exact same moment in time.