Perfect Imperfections

Prologue

I don't really know where to start but... my name is Lilac, great isn't it? Note the sarcasm. That's what happens when you have a biologist for a father -Well had anyways. He left me and my mom a few years ago, classic family issues, he left she fell apart. Mom just spends her days drinking off the government's money and dad's monthly checks. Anyways, that's not important right now, that's just life, what I really want to talk about is November 23, 2013, the day I died. Of course, I didn't know that at the time, it was just like any other day.
I woke up to mom passed out on the couch surrounded by empty bottles and reeking of smoke. We lived in a one story family home dad bought once upon a time, a constant reminder of how everything goes to shit eventually. I hated that house, Still do. So I left like I did everyday, leave early stay out late, repeat. Sorry but I'm not much of a car person so all I can tell you is that it was old and ugly, it was my mom's but it's not like she'd miss it. As long as I brought home a pack of beer, all was right in the world.
I wasn't much for shopping or clubs or any of that shit, I use to just walk around the woods or a park until it got dark. That's what I did before I found my spot. It's not much, just an old collapsed subway tunnel, it sunk inwards about half way through creating a cave of sorts. It might not sound so great, but at night, you can see al the stars shinning through the gaps. I had everything I needed there, I would draw or paint all day. I wouldn't leave at all if it wasn't for mom, if I didn't take care of her, no one else would. The tunnel was about a mile away from the road, no one ever bothered me. But today of all days was different, when I got to my tunnel, he was there. It was as if he was waiting for me, thumbing through one of my sketch books near the entrance.
After that my memory gets a little fuzzy, but I remimbered backing away and tripping over something. Sounds like me anyways. After that he was next to me. He said something, but my brain couldn't make sence of it, even now thinking back. It's like I was drunk. After that I don't know what happened. All I know is I died, yet didn't.
I might not remember how it all happened, but I remember when I woke up. It was night and I could see the stars through the bare trees. I was alone, laying on the ground. When I sat up I was a little dizzy, but other then that, fine, Physically anyways. I didn't really know why I was passed out on the ground, and yet it didn't bother me. At the time at least. One thought completely overcame me as I stood up though. I didn't want to go home. I didn't care what time it was or what mom was doing to herself, I didn't want to go home. So when I walked into that cave, I had no idea I'd never see my home or mom again.
And that's how it all started. I don't know if the outcome of that was bad or good, I've felt both sence then, but what I do know, is that despite the pain to come, there's no going back. This is my life now.