"When you get to a thousand" I whispered to him, bending over and folding the paper. "You get to make a wish."
***
Samuel Jones is the only openly gay teen at Doverhall school for bo...
"I have to tell you something, Sam. It's important." He said.
"What is it?" I asked. I could hear footsteps outside the door. God dammit we were not going to be interrupted by doors. Not now.
"I can tell you later." He decided, stepping away from me slightly. I rolled my eyes. "I promise."
"Fine." I consented. Eliam smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes, just hung low on his face.
As he stepped away to get ready I felt my chest tighten. Could feel my heart rate rising with each passing second but I couldn't stop it. I was having an attack, right here in Eliam's room and my cranes were still stuck in my bag.
I ran to them like a man stuck in the desert would run to a mirage, greedily and fast. The paper was stuffed into a side pocket and I scrabbled with the zipper. My hand locked around the green paper and before I could even sit down I was making the familiar folds.
I needed help. I thought they were getting better. I thought I had them under control. I was stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
"Are you alright?" Eliam called softly to me. I hadn't realized I'd been saying I was stupid out loud. I looked over at the door to the bathroom as it opened. He'd somehow fixed his tie. His hair was combed to the side neatly.
"I'm fine." The crane in my hand would have told him otherwise but if he noticed he didn't say anything. I hid it behind my back anyway. It only served to make me look even more suspicious but he still didn't seem to notice.
"You can tell me. You know that, right? You can tell me anything." His words made me feel even more guilty for not saying anything. It's not like he didn't know about my anxiety. It wouldn't hurt if I just spoke up, but I didn't elaborate.
"Honestly, I'm fine." I lied straight through my teeth.
***
Jenny had prepared the meal and Eliam's dad had cut the turkey. I watched the two of them as they whisked around the kitchen gathering last minute things.
"Jenny, you look ravishing." Eliam's dad tried to pull off a British accent but it sounded almost like a Dracula impression. Eliam laughed beside me, watching them too.
"Oh stop the kissing up. You're still not getting more stuffing." She kissed his cheek and brought in the turkey. Eliam's dining room overlooked the kitchen so Jenny only had to make small trips back and forth.
Fiona looked over at me apologetically and I shrugged telling her I was fine with all the family craziness. It just made me want it even more. But, as I imagined my mom ever making thanksgiving dinner, the dream died quick.
As the last of the food was brought to the table we all began to make our plates. I didn't take much, feeling a little self conscious.
"You didn't tell us your boyfriend ate like a bird. I would have planned accordingly." Jenny joked with Eliam. I smiled at her then looked at my plate. My serving sizes were meager but I knew I wouldn't be able to eat more.
The Dale family was close. I learned of this as we ate. Rachel was quiet but when something of interest to her was mentioned she dominated the conversation. Her voice was pleasing to the ear and her comments were always pleasant to hear. Emma could talk about anything and everything. Her personality seemed to have no limits.
Fiona was a mix of the two. She seemed uncharacteristically quiet. She poked at her food but didn't really eat any of it. I knew it was because of the argument she'd had with Eliam. It was over me and that, and the fact that I couldn't do anything about it, just made me feel even more like shit.
Eliam took me out to the back porch before dinner was over. When we'd made it out of the sight of his family he'd grabbed my hand and dragged me outside.
The night cast a blue glow over the grass and wood of the porch. Somewhere far away a dog barked and a cat yowled in response. I sat down next to him on the steps, my head resting on his shoulder. I stared up at the moon. Gray clouds made it seem like fog was dancing through the sky.
"So, what did you want to tell me?" I asked. Instead of answering me Eliam got up. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was chewing on the inside of his mouth.
"I invited you over here, to my house, because I wanted to see if what I felt for you was real." He said. His voice was shaky which could have been the cause of nerves. I know I could feel mine all over.
"And?" I blurted.
"And I can't help but think- I can't help but think I'm falling hopelessly in love with you, Samuel Jones." ~~~~~~~
A/N: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
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Look I drew Sam! (Is it considered fanart if I did it for my own story?)
