Doncaster [Louis Tomlinson]

8: Envy

            The boys greeted me and Louis took one of the hot cups out of my hand and took a sip. I didn’t dare look behind me towards the machine, because without a doubt, Ella would be fixated on this table. I took a sip of the warm beverage. It was school quality, so nothing like the hot chocolate my mum makes on cold winter evenings. But it warmed up my insides well enough.

            “What’s this?” Louis asked as he nodded his head towards a small poster, located just above the heater.

            ‘Audition for “Grease” The Musical!’ It said ‘Auditions will be held afterschool in the theatre, Wednesday the 18th of January and Friday the 20th of January. Contact Mrs. Stanley for any questions.’ 

            “You should defiantly audition, Jess.” Suggested Louis as he took another gulp of his drink

            “Really? Nah.” I shook my head. I couldn’t possibly imagine myself on a stage, singing in front of a stranger.

            “No, seriously, you should go for it.” He said in a tone that could only mean one possible thing, and that was that he was not fucking around.

            “I don’t think-“ I started, only to be interrupted by the brunette boy

            “Remember what I said a few weeks ago,” he said so quietly that only I could hear the words that were coming out of his mouth “about expressing your talent?” I nodded wordlessly “Well this is a perfect opportunity.”

            I stayed silent for a few moments to consider the consequences of auditioning for this musical. If I wasn’t as spectacular at singing as Louis claimed I was, then my chance of getting the part would be very slim. This was a large school, and without a doubt, there would be many other singers competing for the same role as me. And if I didn’t stand out against them, then I didn’t have much hope. And not only would I have to sing, but I would have to dance and act; two areas in which I am highly inexperienced.

            “I’m auditioning, just so you know.” Louis chirped, interrupting my decision making progress

            There was no questioning that Louis was going to get the leading role. Not only was he good, but often in high school musicals, a lot less guys audition than girls, so he didn’t have the same competition as I had. Imagine that, Louis scoring the leading role as Danny and me, not even making the cast list - or perhaps I would’ve been good enough to be one of those background people that join in the group numbers. How humiliating.

            Yet, as the choice of turning down this audition seemed so definite while I mentally listed all the negative factors, previous words which Louis had once said lingered in my head. ‘How will you ever know if you're good if you don't show people?’.  He’d told me this sentence over two weeks ago, on our very first meeting, while we we’re locked up in his messy bedroom, talking about our lives. We were complete strangers back then; we knew nothing about each other. And that’s when I realised that I had sung to Louis when he was just that, a complete stranger. I’d made it through that alive, so why would auditioning be any different?

            “Alright, I’ll audition, but only if we go together. There’s no way in hell I’m turning up to the theatre alone.”

            “Deal.”

            At this moment I smiled. Maybe because I was finally getting off my butt and doing something in my life. Or maybe because I was doing something with Louis. Who really knows? But the next two words that tumbled out of Louis’ lips vanished my grin within less than a second.