On some random day, Princess Douchebag (A.K.A. Cinderella) was sitting on her ass playing Pony Island. As Princess Douchebag was about to hack the last level, her step stepmother snapped" Get off your lazy ass little shit!" But Princess Douchebag whined" I'm almost do-,"
" NO, get of your lazy mother fucking ass and give me a massage!"
2 minutes later...
" You suck giving massages, why couldn't your parents teach you how to massage before they died!" This is outrageous!"
1 minute later...
" Stop crying you sensitive bitch, your never going to last in the real world. That's why you clean for me for a living, and if you were out in the real world, you would be cleaning
things for somebody else. Luckily, I am really good at taking care of teenage girls. Unlike most adults, I care about you,"
Then the stepmother thought" I hope she believed that bullshit... why am I even worrying, she's just stupid bitch."
4 minutes later
The stepmother then told Princess Douchebag to call Dominoes to order a hand tossed pizza with onions and mushrooms.
Princess Douchebag replied" Uhhh... I its 5:00 A-,"
"I DON'T CARE, JUST GO GET A MOTHER FUCKING PIZZA!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Princess Douchebags POV
My step mother told me to get a hand tossed pizza with onions and mushrooms from Dominoes. That selfish little bitch can't get her own fucking pizza, this is madness. I'm going to show her!
My POV
Princess Douchebag thought of a trash can with the onion and mushroom pizza in it. The trash can with the pizza in it magically appeared right in front of Princess Douchebag, but since it's my story, Princess Douche bag is going to have to work for the things she needs. She is not going to be a lucky bitch in this story.
Back to Princess Douchebags POV
I saw the trash can that I imagined, then it just disappeared. I was confused. I kept walking forward towards the town. Then I saw the trash can appear, then disappear. Now I knew somebody is fucking with me.
My POV
Oh shit she's starting to notice. I better stay low for a little while.
Princess Douchebags POV
Thank god. Whoever was messing he/she stopped messing with me. It was probably a he because boys are icky, smelly, and like fuck people and things. That's right, me, Princess Douchebag, is a sexist. DEAL WITH IT. Well there is one guy that isn't disgusting, his name is Prince Douchebag. He is my number one senpai.
My POV
What the fuck did I make, Princess Douchebag is more douchey than I intended her to be.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Princess Douchebag made her way to dominoes, but she went around the dominoes to go to the dumpster. She saw this fat black cat sitting in its own pile of shit. Princess Douchebag kicked the cat. The cat came by Princess Douchebag and sat by her foot.
The cat said" Meow Meow," which interpreted to: "Bitch, go fuck yourself.
She pet the cat. In return, the cat went into Princess Douchebags arm and pissed there. She stood, in awe, giving the finger to the cat. A smirk came across the cats face.
The Cats POV
I pissed in the bitches' arms, I'm a total badass. She had to take her shirt off, which I didn't mind at all. But then I saw them, they were absolutely DISGUSTING. God, how could women boobs look like man boobs. Looking at them was disturbing. I think she should do some plastic surgery on those. And if she did get that plastic surgery, maybe people would start to hate her less. I had to find a way to get a shirt back on her at any cost.
I went to the conveniently placed Walmart next door. I went inside and got the first shirt I saw. The shirt I got actually fit the definition I gave her myself.
The shirt said: "BITCH WITH SMALL BOOBS"
This was perfect
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Princess Douchebag was sitting by the dumpster with a dirty pizza in her hands,I wonder where she got that from. The cat leaped on top the dumpster and dropped the shirt in her lap. She started to smile at the cat until she read what the shirt said. The cat was giving another one of his famous smirks. Princess Douchebag hit the cat off the dumpster and started to put the shirt on.
Princess Douchebag thought that she should get back to her house. She started to walk back home, but there was one problem, the mother fucking cat was following her. Well actually, she didn't mind because she had a plan for the cat.
I hoped you liked the first chapter
This is my first book and I'm hoping I will finish it too
Feed back is appreciated
Thx m8
